Jopesi, The Pretty Lass
Do you know the pweety lass?
With the shining black rimmed glass.
jopesi, a girl of charisma, swag and class,
Every time she passes by,
Everyone stares and goes O my!Don’t you know the pweety lass?
With the shining black rimmed glass.
Among her peers, with a huge gap she surpass
She draws with her light pen so well,
From where she learnt no one can tellHave you seen the pweety lass?
With the shining black rimmed glass.
With a pretty nice A$$,
Such pretty straight legs she’s got
At times me thinks she’s but a god.Haven’t you seen the pweety lass?
With the shining black rimmed glass.
Talks God at any given chance.
All around her is light so bright,
Glowing from her whitened teeth like the planet mars.Lemme tell you ‘bout the pweety lass,
With the shining black rimmed glass.
Take a sit, relax.
Some men say she’s full of s_ _t,
But I say she’ll soon be a big hitWell, Yes I'm in Love with the prweety lass
The one with shining rimmeed glass
She's so beautiful, I think she's from mars
They call her every mans dream,
For us, I want more than a dreamSo if you see the pweety lass,
With the shining black rimmed glass.
This last part I speak not to jackass,
From me please give a warm wet kiss,
And tell her how much her verve I miss
She Was My First Love (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩_-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)
Even though the forces of nature sometimes destroy the beauty of the world, we still appreciate the times that we were happy and thank God for giving us the good old memories to muse over and merry in.
In retrospect….
The age was seven and the class was primary Four.
3 Significant things, difficult to forget happened that year. It was the first and only time I topped the class, it was the first and only time I won a prize and it was the first and only time I had an almost perfect friend and lost her.
Her name was Obasa.
She was my classmate, new in the school, Ebony-like in complexion and I thought she had behavioural problems because she was really slow with everything she did, both academically, in movement and in speech. Everyone in class saw her as a ‘dollard’ who could not comprehend a thing and struggled to be a step ahead of the least. I didn’t see her that way.
Maybe I was biased. Why shouldn’t I be? She was beautiful and always had that look in her eyes like the looks I saw in the eyes of the hollywood actresses. She reminded me of the movie ‘ANNIE’ whenever I looked at her.
My likeness for Obasa grew and I was always happy going to school every morning. My mum thought I had suddenly fallen in love with school. It wasn’t school mum, it was Obasa.
I shared my biscuits with her on one of her lonely breaks and from that day, we became friends. Only then did I discover she wasn’t the ‘isi aki’ everyone thought she was. We grew from class mates to friends and from friends to close friends. She neglected the girls when they called her ‘spoilt’ for preffering the company of the opposite sex during break and I neglected the boys when they called me ‘woman wrapper’ for choosing her instead of playing ‘police and thief’ with them.
Soon, my Obasa began to bloom academically, proving my instincts right and proving the other pupils wrong. She must have needed time to settle in properly which I guess was the reason for her initial poor scores. I liked her even more after her breakthrough.
We used to walk home together, holding her younger ones and sharing tales we wouldn’t tell the others at school.
She became my best friend as we fondly called it back then. We shared biscuits, talked about things appropriate for our ages, and sometimes, I resisted the urge to do those things I saw people do in movies to her. Yea, I resisted the urge to kiss her.
During the Christmas holidays, I volunteered to follow my aunty whenever she was going to the market because I knew we would always pass her house along the route. I used to peep in and wave if I saw her but if not, I’ll just go to the market feeling the pains of an unfulfilled mission.
This I did until she travelled to her village to spend the new year. I waited patiently. Built up my courage and rehearsed a scene on how I’ll kiss her when she returns. I didn’t know much about love, I was too young to know but the feelings I had for her was next to love if it wasn’t love.
Then…
The day of resumption… Three days…. One week…. Two weeks…. Absence.
Then an OBITYARY… *sigh*
Her ebony-lit face, smiling in black and white with her mother and siblings. The siblings I used to hold. It was her, involved in a ghastly motor accident, burnt beyond recognition. Number plates, tooth and other little clues were used to identify them.
Her family was wiped and I couldn’t hold back as hot tears filled my eyes. I knew what death was at seven and it meant I’ll never see her or her little ones again. I’ll never get to kiss her.
And I went to school everyday, looking at her vacant seat, wishing she could come back so that we can walk home together like we always did but it never happened. I walked home alone, lonely and sad. Memories of our three months old friendship flooded my head each time I walked home and tears were forced to fall sometimes.
Back to present…
That is how I remember it. Thanks to childhood innocence, I wasn’t depressed for so long even though my academic performance that term was a little below my usual performance and I lost that zeal for school that mummy loved. I still remember her every now and then. Even till this day, the memories flood back sometimes and each time I remember her, I feel happy for the opportunity to have had that kind of friend. Soft spoken and strong, intelligent and wonderful and lest I forget, beautiful.
"She was my first love"
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless devic
Dear God 2 | Finding Inner Peace
After my first letter to you, you opened my heart to a lot of things, things that I was ignorant of. Things that many has regarded as little but yet is as big as the biggest thing any one can imagine..... You know I don't read the bible or do I listen to messages but you led me to these verses:
- Jeremiah 1:4-5
- Isaiah 9:6
- John 15:13
- 1 john 4:8
I don't know what they mean but I do know they have a lot in common. You made me understand that In the recessed shadows of my heart, I have found an inner peace.
A peace that isn’t always visible or audible to the outer world. It’s only to be found when others see You living within me. Its a still quiet voice that brings a sense of calm that can not be explained by most. Your spirit whispers my name and cradles me in your majestic arms.
I have struggled with personal pain and emotional upset that only You have been privy too.
Your Love is as beautiful an artwork, as any that Rembrandt could have put to canvas.
Your Grace is the salt that seasons our lives with a taste that the world can not palate.
Your Faithfulness is a song, that only those who hear, could sing its’ melody.
Your Mercy is the gift that required no elaborate party to be received.
It was within my deepest pain and sorrow, that You lifted me up and encouraged me to truly find myself again. To obtain the remarkable faith that only a child could understand. In our years of living, we somehow distort that concept.
Our lives are filled with events that change our perception of what faith in You was truly meant to become. It is a tool that is used to craft a masterpiece.
My life has changed dramatically this past month. My mind has been filled with emotions that run the gamut of human conception.
I have felt lost, but You found me.
I have felt fear, but You calmed it.
I have know sorrow, but You wiped away the tears.
I have known joy, and I am certain that it all stems from You.
In those quiet shadows, You were able to make me see just how letting go of my own plans, put Yours into perspective.
My own selfish ways would have prevented me from some of the greatest joys that life had to offer. It was within the shadows of the great valley, that I could see the top of the mountain, and the view is phenomenal.
Thank Your son, Jesus, that encouraged me to write to You, the words that are within my heart and soul. It is this time that we share, that anchors my heart to Your inner harbor .
As the waves roar in, I have no fear. What can Satan do that could ever keep me from Your love?
Absolutely nothing!
For even unto death, I know where my soul will rest. That is the greatest comfort that Your children will ever know.
Big G, (I can call you that right?) I pray for anyone who is lost and searching for the peace that lies in their own recessed shadows. I ask that the Son will shine upon them and bring them the peace that only a Father can provide.
Amen!
Your Son,
Hendrix
I, The Okada Man and His Girl-Friend
How the hell was I supposed to refuse such an invitation? Dolly was too fine. The girl set die…., In fact she was “Mmuuaa!!!” and I had been trying to get with her.
Now, the chemistry between Dolly and I was as mutual as it could be. In a nutshell, it was a bit like…….ok, Mutual chemistry? Check, Physical attraction? Check and then Religious compatibility? No check. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like she was a Muslim and I a Christian. In fact, we were/are both Christians.
But you see, the wahala come be say this girl was a Jehovah’s Witness. I’m not saying I dislike or hate Jehovah’s witnesses, no; but if you know these lots well, you’ll agree with me that they have some of the strictest “living righteous” rules/guidelines ever made.
Their views and outlook on life have never been mine at all. I digress, but apologies if I’m being judgmental however.
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that babes said “NO” a lot to a lot of things. “Oh no I’m not supposed to do that with you, you’re not a witness”. In fact me sef tire for the girl. She gave me the impression that all I had to do was show just a hint of commitment to her faith and then she’d loosen up on the “NO”s. Trust me na. “Yes, yes, I’ll be there”.
On this Sunday, I got ready and told my friends I was going to church. Of course I didn’t tell them I was going to a Kingdom hall for fear of becoming a subject of mockery, as they were Catholics who had always invited me to tag along with them to which I had always objected. So anyways, I set off and proceeded to board an okada to the address. Na here the drama come happen o! It wasn’t until we were about 15 minutes into the journey that it dawned on me that the okada man I had boarded his bike was drunk as a horse.
Suddenly, I had started to smell alcohol in his clothes, and his riding was no different to the riding style in that matrix movie. “E don happen” I said to myself. We had gotten to a point where it was inevitable to abort the journey and there was just nothing I could do about it. So I sat there patiently, with my heart in my hand, while bros had a blast diving into potholes at a very uncomfortable speed, obviously testing out his newly fixed shock absorbers. “All these wahala na because I wan impress woman abi?”
As we went along, I noticed we were going into a very remote area, and I started to feel really uneasy. “Bros you sure say na the church you dey carry me go so?” I asked, and his reply almost threw me off the bike. “Oga we dey go my girlfriend house”.
Now, at this time, it was 9.45 a.m. and I was supposed to be at the service at 9.00 a.m. I was livid. “Akpos!!” as I later learnt was his name, “wetin we dey go do for your girlfriend house?” “Oga sorry sir…… just gimme 2 minutes, we go comot now now abeg”. Before I could get Akpos to change his course and take me to my destination, Akpos had turned off his motorcycle. Whether I liked it or not we were at Akpos’s girlfriends place o! See film!!
It turned out Akpos had come to settle a score with his girlfriend who had caught him having an affair and had moved out of his house, just after trashing it. “She dey crase” he yelled. “How she go scatter my house, break my TV, burn all my clothes……” I stood there in total disbelief at what was unfolding before my eyes. All I simply wanted on that Sunday was to wake up, get dressed and impress Dolly by honoring her invitation to her church, but there I was at Akpos’s girlfriends place, forced to take on the problems of two complete strangers.
2 minutes turned into an hour, and to make matters worse, I became a mediator. I couldn’t believe myself. I had to say or do something just so we could hurry up and get me out of there. This was comedy at its very best. Well, Akpos and his girlfriend exchanged insults for the next 45 minutes and at this point, it became apparent that there was no way I was going to make the service, and so I resigned to these strangers and just stood there while they entertained me.
Eventually, when both parties had run out of nothings to say to each other, I asked Akpos take me back to where he had picked me up.
“Hendrix, welcome back….how was your service?” my friends asked. “Ah! It was fine o! In fact it was the most fulfilling service ever” Before nko? How was I to tell them I spent the day with Akpos and his girlfriend instead of the in the church I had earlier told them I was going to?
Plus I had to prepare a very convincing excuse for Dolly. Some weeks later I was going somewhere when I bumped into Akpos again at the same bike stand. I was surprised he recognised me. “Oga how far na? Oga come make we go”. When he saw that I was obviously avoiding him, he came over and said “Oga come make I carry you go… no worry, me and my babe don settle”.
I said “we bless God o! But no thank you”.
Another Random Boy Meets Girl, Boy Falls Hand Story
Of course, I got to lectures late. What self respecting big boy like me comes to lectures early? That’s for all those silly efficos that carry textbooks bigger than their heads with authors whose names they can’t pronounce.
Yes, those same effico that will still be counting ceiling boards in the exam hall. Me? I have my systems. I know how to get by.
For today, as every day, I had to spend extra care to make sure I was looking good. I had to visit the barber to make the mohawk sharp and dye it a bit so I could look tight. I was going to make a killing today. That girl, that course-mate of mine that I had been trying to bag since the start of the year? She would have to agree to go out with me today.
As I sauntered into the lecture hall, the lecturer, an old, hungry man-like 'thing', paused to cast me a withering look, that look that says “I see you, continue wasting your life, ehn? You’ll see me in the exam hall na.” before continuing the lecture. I quickly scanned the hall for an available seat. My fellow bad guys waved me over from the back and indicated an available seat among them. I was just about heading in their direction when I spotted it. An empty seat close to the front of the class.
You may be surprised at that, after all, wetin concern big boy, concern front seat for lecture hall? But it wasn’t the seat that was the attraction. It was the person that was occupying the seat beside it. Angel, the object of my Mohawk sharpening and hair dyeing. I normally avoid seating close to the front of the class (as all well known big boys do, only silly efficos and empty brained girls occupy the front seats) but today, I had to make an exception. I was going to seat beside Angel.
I mustered my swag and sauntered to where she sat.
“Is this seat available?” I asked in my most polished yankee accent, indicating the obviously empty seat.
She barely glanced at me as she said, “Yes.”
I settled into the seat gently, dropped my one notebook (that I rarely ever write in, ever) on the writing surface and took my pen out of my pocket, the look on my face serious, like I was about to learn quantum physics. I heard she likes brilliant guys. Well, she would have to deal with my brilliant guy act today.
I had just opened the notebook and written down a few chemical equations (it was actually a physics class but when you want to form brilliant guy, you have to make do with what is in your head) when my problem started, a slight twinge in my stomach. I adjusted a bit in my seat.
Must be the heavy breakfast that I had eaten trying to digest. I added a few figures to the chemical equation that would have made the chemistry lecturer call my parents and ask what I was doing in a university when I should have been learning a trade. Well, at least, it looked like what an effico would write.
The twinge came again, this time a bit stronger. Then pressure, that kind of pressure that comes when your system is about to get rid of gas began to build up in my system. No way! I thought to myself. There was no way I was going to pass this gas beside this girl and kill my opportunity to ask her out. Why now of all times did my body decide to start getting rid of waste gas?
With that decision, I concentrated and suppressed the pressure. The gas felt like it had gone back into my digestive system. Good.
No, bad. Even worse. After five minutes, the pressure came again, this time slightly stronger. Again I suppressed it by force of willpower. I was not going to allow my body fall my hands today. The third time the pressure built up (stronger than the previous two times) I realised one thing. This wasn’t gas pressure. This was go-to-toilet pressure, but of a special kind. The kind you get when you are purging.
My goodness, no! Not today! Not on this blessed day that I got the opportunity to sit beside Angel. I had already mapped out the questions I would ask her to explain better at the end of the class that I would use to drift into other topics, topics of a more personal nature. No way! No stomach problems were going to prevent me from taking this God-given opportunity today.
The pressure continued to build inside me and after five minutes, I felt like I was going to burst. How was it that the human body could make the human so miserable (the closest I have ever come to thinking about biology)? Now my stomach began to make small funny noises that I hoped Angel wasn’t hearing. I was forcing my intestines to stay closed because they were threatening to burst open.
Chai, what kind of problem was this. Inspite of the fact that the fans were on maximum speed and the windows were wide open, I broke into a sweat.
Angel may not have noticed my initial effico act but she certainly noticed my discomfort.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
“Yes,” I answered too quickly, a wide obviously fake smile on my face. “Wonderful. Thanks for asking.”
Her look lingered for a second before she turned back to the lecturer. The smile instantly disappeared from my face. I had to go to the toilet else I would burst. Angel was still a student; I could talk to her at any time. Right now, I had to settle issues with my stomach. But even that was a problem now. It now felt like if I made any move from my current position, I would soil my boxers.
“BRRRRRRRP!!”
No, I did not soil my pants, thankfully. Neither did my system let go of a cache of toxic gas. It was the contents of my intestines rearranging themselves, very audibly indeed. Unfortunately, Angel had heard and assumed the noise came from the very part of my body I was doing my best to keep from discharging unwanted items. She looked at me with disgust and moved well away.
Then to pre-empt any unsavory smells, sheheld her nose with one hand and fanned with the other.
Fortunately, I didn’t care what she thought anymore. What I cared about was getting to the toilet ASAP. Couldn’t this lecturer stop yapping and get out of the class already? His period was over.
“Well, what lecture are you having next?” the man asked.
“MTH 101,” the course rep replied.
“Okay, I think I’ll continue till your lecturer arrives,”
“NOOOOOOO!”
I only realized the shouting voice was mine when all eyes fell on me. The lecturer’s hawk like eyes fell on me.
“Young man, is it that you are so averse to learning that you can actually voice your displeasure at my presence in the class? Stand up!”
Wahala dey , I thought to myself. If I stood up here, everybody in the class would hear it from my excretory system. I did the best thing. Sat and looked resolutely at the lecturer, sweat still pouring down my face like a Christmas goat.
“Will you stand up young man?”
Na here trouble dey na , I thought, still seated. Something would have to happen to save me from serious trouble.
Thankfully, something did. In the shape of an Okada man that contrived to ride too close to the lecturer’s ancient Honda car which was parked outside the window, leaving deep scratches on the already faded paint.
“You bastard!” yelled the lecturer, running out of the lecture hall to hurl more insults at the retreating biker with better accuracy. With a subdued “brrrrrrrrrp”, my system re organized itself and I felt a moment of calm.
Time to make abreak for it. I grabbed my notebook, left me pen and fled the lecture hall.
“Bike!!!!” I yelled before I even got to the road. Three Okada men stopped and I leapt on the closest one. “Divine Hostel, fast!”
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To My Best Pal On His Birthday | BADARU OLUWATOBI
I’m not even sure where to begin this really.
Can I start off by saying that you are fuckin’ amazing?
Because you are.
Not many times in a lifetime comes a special person who changes your way of thinking, your perspective…your life.
They bring in a special spice, a variety to your existence
They make you glad of your uniqueness; they occupy a special place in your heart and never really leave
They’re your friend, your confidante, your family
They’re there for you through thick and thin and just love you unconditionally.
They see grace, skill and genius in your "stupid-est" accomplishment
They see the best in you and as a result make you see the best in yourself.
Yeah we have fights, but that's what friends do; fight and then make up.
If you have a friend that does not tell you the truth, they are not real.
Being "REAL" is very important. If you have a good friend, cherish that person/people. Friends are a gift from God..
How does one define friendship??
I think the simple definition is when people know all about you, but like you anyway. I think you need friends as much as you need your food. I don't mean fake friends.
REAL FRIENDS..
I remember back in the days when i used to think that it was fine being alone. I felt that i could take on everything by myself & i convinced myself that i was fine being alone.
Without friends.
Not that i did not want friends but i did not know who to trust. You get me?
It made me feel sad. I later realised that by sharing some of my burdens & anger with real friends, i feel way much better. I know that my problem have not been solved but it just made me feel better inside.
The person you become is as a result of the people you’ve met or failed to meet.
I think that every friend serves a purpose in my life.
They stand up for you when you’re tired of doing it for yourself.
They keep you in check when you’re getting out of line,
They’re that person you never regret meeting cos they make your life richer just by being in it.
You’re that person to me Badaru Oluwatobi my bestest pal.
I hope every wish you ever made comes true
I hope you find everything you’re looking for
I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you whether you ask me to or not
I want you to know that I’ll never betray you, your confidence or your trust
I want you to know that you’ll be a friend in my heart for always
Here’s to a 100 more years of friendship:
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