Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
She Was My First Love (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩_-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)
Even though the forces of nature sometimes destroy the beauty of the world, we still appreciate the times that we were happy and thank God for giving us the good old memories to muse over and merry in.
In retrospect….
The age was seven and the class was primary Four.
3 Significant things, difficult to forget happened that year. It was the first and only time I topped the class, it was the first and only time I won a prize and it was the first and only time I had an almost perfect friend and lost her.
Her name was Obasa.
She was my classmate, new in the school, Ebony-like in complexion and I thought she had behavioural problems because she was really slow with everything she did, both academically, in movement and in speech. Everyone in class saw her as a ‘dollard’ who could not comprehend a thing and struggled to be a step ahead of the least. I didn’t see her that way.
Maybe I was biased. Why shouldn’t I be? She was beautiful and always had that look in her eyes like the looks I saw in the eyes of the hollywood actresses. She reminded me of the movie ‘ANNIE’ whenever I looked at her.
My likeness for Obasa grew and I was always happy going to school every morning. My mum thought I had suddenly fallen in love with school. It wasn’t school mum, it was Obasa.
I shared my biscuits with her on one of her lonely breaks and from that day, we became friends. Only then did I discover she wasn’t the ‘isi aki’ everyone thought she was. We grew from class mates to friends and from friends to close friends. She neglected the girls when they called her ‘spoilt’ for preffering the company of the opposite sex during break and I neglected the boys when they called me ‘woman wrapper’ for choosing her instead of playing ‘police and thief’ with them.
Soon, my Obasa began to bloom academically, proving my instincts right and proving the other pupils wrong. She must have needed time to settle in properly which I guess was the reason for her initial poor scores. I liked her even more after her breakthrough.
We used to walk home together, holding her younger ones and sharing tales we wouldn’t tell the others at school.
She became my best friend as we fondly called it back then. We shared biscuits, talked about things appropriate for our ages, and sometimes, I resisted the urge to do those things I saw people do in movies to her. Yea, I resisted the urge to kiss her.
During the Christmas holidays, I volunteered to follow my aunty whenever she was going to the market because I knew we would always pass her house along the route. I used to peep in and wave if I saw her but if not, I’ll just go to the market feeling the pains of an unfulfilled mission.
This I did until she travelled to her village to spend the new year. I waited patiently. Built up my courage and rehearsed a scene on how I’ll kiss her when she returns. I didn’t know much about love, I was too young to know but the feelings I had for her was next to love if it wasn’t love.
Then…
The day of resumption… Three days…. One week…. Two weeks…. Absence.
Then an OBITYARY… *sigh*
Her ebony-lit face, smiling in black and white with her mother and siblings. The siblings I used to hold. It was her, involved in a ghastly motor accident, burnt beyond recognition. Number plates, tooth and other little clues were used to identify them.
Her family was wiped and I couldn’t hold back as hot tears filled my eyes. I knew what death was at seven and it meant I’ll never see her or her little ones again. I’ll never get to kiss her.
And I went to school everyday, looking at her vacant seat, wishing she could come back so that we can walk home together like we always did but it never happened. I walked home alone, lonely and sad. Memories of our three months old friendship flooded my head each time I walked home and tears were forced to fall sometimes.
Back to present…
That is how I remember it. Thanks to childhood innocence, I wasn’t depressed for so long even though my academic performance that term was a little below my usual performance and I lost that zeal for school that mummy loved. I still remember her every now and then. Even till this day, the memories flood back sometimes and each time I remember her, I feel happy for the opportunity to have had that kind of friend. Soft spoken and strong, intelligent and wonderful and lest I forget, beautiful.
"She was my first love"
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless devic
Poem | I miss
I miss waking up each morning to the message you sent while I slept....
"Stopping by to drop a kiss in your dreams"
I miss hearing your voice when it’s all groggy nd tiny from not enough sleep....
"Hey babe! Good morning… Have an awesome day"
I miss bugging you all day, filling you in on the minutest detail
My course mate just peed her pants! LOL! I crave carbs! Diets suck! Ugh"!
I miss those unplanned visits...
Surprise! Guess who’s in town? Coming to ur house in a bit
I miss the random messages...
You’re beautiful, inside and out! Lucky me
I miss the chastising
"You snapped at your mum?! Why?! Okay, I understand but you have to apologize to her"
I miss making the future plans
"Small wedding, HUGE honey mooning!" Lol
I miss helping you pick out an outfit
You should totally rock the brown shoes with that Red dress(I loved the red dress)
I miss the endless teasing and banter
Your head’s big, by the way.. We both know yours is bigger!
I miss the cuddling even when we fight
Oya shift! I want to cuddle
I miss the pampering
You look tired, lie down I’ll massage. You need to eat babe, please. A kiss for every spoon, deal?
Oh, I miss the deal
I get that school is crappy but if you go today and study enough to impress me, you get a gift.
And of course the bribery…
I miss the impromptu fun games
Let’s make lunch together, over the phone of course. You give the instructions and I’ll cook
I miss… Gosh, I miss everything! I miss the things I can’t have because, well, because I’m alone …And while being single has it’s perks, I miss the things I could have…
I miss my first love.
In reply to
I miss you! http://wp.me/p30ldI-14 twitter.com/His_beloved8
"Stopping by to drop a kiss in your dreams"
I miss hearing your voice when it’s all groggy nd tiny from not enough sleep....
"Hey babe! Good morning… Have an awesome day"
I miss bugging you all day, filling you in on the minutest detail
My course mate just peed her pants! LOL! I crave carbs! Diets suck! Ugh"!
I miss those unplanned visits...
Surprise! Guess who’s in town? Coming to ur house in a bit
I miss the random messages...
You’re beautiful, inside and out! Lucky me
I miss the chastising
"You snapped at your mum?! Why?! Okay, I understand but you have to apologize to her"
I miss making the future plans
"Small wedding, HUGE honey mooning!" Lol
I miss helping you pick out an outfit
You should totally rock the brown shoes with that Red dress(I loved the red dress)
I miss the endless teasing and banter
Your head’s big, by the way.. We both know yours is bigger!
I miss the cuddling even when we fight
Oya shift! I want to cuddle
I miss the pampering
You look tired, lie down I’ll massage. You need to eat babe, please. A kiss for every spoon, deal?
Oh, I miss the deal
I get that school is crappy but if you go today and study enough to impress me, you get a gift.
And of course the bribery…
I miss the impromptu fun games
Let’s make lunch together, over the phone of course. You give the instructions and I’ll cook
I miss… Gosh, I miss everything! I miss the things I can’t have because, well, because I’m alone …And while being single has it’s perks, I miss the things I could have…
I miss my first love.
In reply to
I miss you! http://wp.me/p30ldI-14 twitter.com/His_beloved8
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry using MTN NIGERIA.
Letter To My Ex-Girlfriend | With A Broken Heart
What I intend now to say is… is… is… I loved you truly; I liked your smile, your laugh, and your beautiful black glistening eyes, I liked the curl of your hair, I liked the touch of your soft skin, I liked your sexy voice(NT the fake ones), and I liked your smell, too… I liked everything about you … But you broke my heart, You… You… You… broke my heart! You broke the heart of the greatest literary figure of 21st century, you shall never be forgiven for that, mind you!
Tell you what. [What?] Since the time you left me,I’ve realized that I’m a good-looking man with whom many girls want to spend time. You see, love is really blind for it blinded me and I could see no one but you and only you. But, now my eyes are wide open, and I’ve awakened from the deep slumber of your bitter love.
Have you lost your mind? Seriously, when we first met, I thought you were the one I had been waiting for my whole life. Now, I don’t know what I was thinking.
I let you into my life… I shared everything I had with you. You had nothing. Everything that was mine helped you make you who you are today. Oh, how we forget so easily. You’ve let others come between us. I know I never had any money, but you didn’t have to go shack up with the richest guy around the first chance you got.
BTW How is your new love? Caught a big fish this time, eh? Hope you’ve told him that you would love him till the end of your life just like you told me once. This perhaps you’ve said to gazillion of other guys foolish enough to have fallen for you. Tell me; what magic spell did you whisper this time?
Did you give him all those nicknames by which you used to call me: My baby, honey,my darling, etcetera, and etcetera?
Hope your new love is from a wealthy family, unlike me. I’m sure he can take you to expensive theatre and buy popcorn for you every now and then; buy you weavons, make-up, slippers, buy ice-cream for you as and when you demand.
I’ve tried everything, letting you have more than you could’ve ever hoped for. I let you into my heart. You learned my deepest secrets, and then you used them all against me. How dare you?! How could I have been so stupid?
Yes, we fought a lot. Sometimes, it was my fault. Sometimes, it was yours. But you go around telling everyone you’re always the victim, that I was the one “terrorising” you. What a liar! How many times have I let you humiliate me around other people? Yet I kept telling everyone we were going to work everything out. Boy, was I wrong.
Do warn your new love not to glance at any other girls passing by; let him behave as saintly as possible. He should receive the same treatment as I did. Now, I have known being possessive is your birthright and known that ‘possessiveness’ is a word solely reserved for you; don’t worry, I’ll never interfere in your matters as you’re not mine anymore, but for sure you can interfere with my life as much as you want, for I’m still slightly yours. I’ve learnt to let anger live and die within me without letting it outburst (thanks to the anger management book I’ve read recently), I can now swallow my anger for I’ve known the outcome of a decision one makes while one is angry is always devastating. However, don’t think that I want you back. No, no, I don’t.
I’m the only one who has made any sacrifices for this relationship. I go around telling everyone I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. You pretend like I don’t even exist.
We’ve tried to reconcile many times. I even agreed to things I knew were bad for me, just to see if it would work out. I’ve never known how to say no to you. You’ve had a hold on me. But no more! I’m moving on.
From now on, I don’t want anything to do with you. And by the way, I got your letter saying that you wanted me to profess my love for you in front of everyone. What nerve! When you start admitting that you did me wrong, then we’ll talk about that kind of stuff.
But I’ll tell you something right now. If we don’t end up together, I hope you at least don’t put anyone else through what I had to endure. It just makes me so mad. I see you making all these mistakes, and I’m afraid you won’t realize it until it’s too late and you’re all alone.
But you know what? If that happens, you deserve it.
I tried to warn you, just accept me for who I am. Don’t try to change me. I’ll always be the person you fell for: fiery, protective, passionate, and full of love. How could you have not seen it all this time? We could’ve had something special, if you didn’t go and screw it all up.
You’re so full of yourself, thinking you’re so perfect, thinking you never do anything wrong. Take a look in the mirror. All of this is your fault. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS OPEN YOUR HEART ..... AND SHARE A LITTLE..Go figure out your problems on your own. We’ll see if you can do it without me! Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t e-mail me. I can’t wait to change my Facebook relationship status. Just stay out of my life! Fuck you,
Tell you what. [What?] Since the time you left me,I’ve realized that I’m a good-looking man with whom many girls want to spend time. You see, love is really blind for it blinded me and I could see no one but you and only you. But, now my eyes are wide open, and I’ve awakened from the deep slumber of your bitter love.
Have you lost your mind? Seriously, when we first met, I thought you were the one I had been waiting for my whole life. Now, I don’t know what I was thinking.
I let you into my life… I shared everything I had with you. You had nothing. Everything that was mine helped you make you who you are today. Oh, how we forget so easily. You’ve let others come between us. I know I never had any money, but you didn’t have to go shack up with the richest guy around the first chance you got.
BTW How is your new love? Caught a big fish this time, eh? Hope you’ve told him that you would love him till the end of your life just like you told me once. This perhaps you’ve said to gazillion of other guys foolish enough to have fallen for you. Tell me; what magic spell did you whisper this time?
Did you give him all those nicknames by which you used to call me: My baby, honey,my darling, etcetera, and etcetera?
Hope your new love is from a wealthy family, unlike me. I’m sure he can take you to expensive theatre and buy popcorn for you every now and then; buy you weavons, make-up, slippers, buy ice-cream for you as and when you demand.
I’ve tried everything, letting you have more than you could’ve ever hoped for. I let you into my heart. You learned my deepest secrets, and then you used them all against me. How dare you?! How could I have been so stupid?
Yes, we fought a lot. Sometimes, it was my fault. Sometimes, it was yours. But you go around telling everyone you’re always the victim, that I was the one “terrorising” you. What a liar! How many times have I let you humiliate me around other people? Yet I kept telling everyone we were going to work everything out. Boy, was I wrong.
Do warn your new love not to glance at any other girls passing by; let him behave as saintly as possible. He should receive the same treatment as I did. Now, I have known being possessive is your birthright and known that ‘possessiveness’ is a word solely reserved for you; don’t worry, I’ll never interfere in your matters as you’re not mine anymore, but for sure you can interfere with my life as much as you want, for I’m still slightly yours. I’ve learnt to let anger live and die within me without letting it outburst (thanks to the anger management book I’ve read recently), I can now swallow my anger for I’ve known the outcome of a decision one makes while one is angry is always devastating. However, don’t think that I want you back. No, no, I don’t.
I’m the only one who has made any sacrifices for this relationship. I go around telling everyone I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. You pretend like I don’t even exist.
We’ve tried to reconcile many times. I even agreed to things I knew were bad for me, just to see if it would work out. I’ve never known how to say no to you. You’ve had a hold on me. But no more! I’m moving on.
From now on, I don’t want anything to do with you. And by the way, I got your letter saying that you wanted me to profess my love for you in front of everyone. What nerve! When you start admitting that you did me wrong, then we’ll talk about that kind of stuff.
But I’ll tell you something right now. If we don’t end up together, I hope you at least don’t put anyone else through what I had to endure. It just makes me so mad. I see you making all these mistakes, and I’m afraid you won’t realize it until it’s too late and you’re all alone.
But you know what? If that happens, you deserve it.
I tried to warn you, just accept me for who I am. Don’t try to change me. I’ll always be the person you fell for: fiery, protective, passionate, and full of love. How could you have not seen it all this time? We could’ve had something special, if you didn’t go and screw it all up.
You’re so full of yourself, thinking you’re so perfect, thinking you never do anything wrong. Take a look in the mirror. All of this is your fault. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS OPEN YOUR HEART ..... AND SHARE A LITTLE..Go figure out your problems on your own. We’ll see if you can do it without me! Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t e-mail me. I can’t wait to change my Facebook relationship status. Just stay out of my life! Fuck you,
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry using Airtel Nigeria.
