I am not a relationship expert; well except you want me to give you tips on client-customer relationships, then I may be able to spin off one or two pointers. Today however, I would like to reel out some of the things that swim around the mind of women when they are about to pick a guy to settle into a relationship with. You must have thought it was all about your fancy clothes, car and wallet? Well all that plays an important role but believe it, women are deeper than that nowadays.  The points below illustrate this:

1. Tall, dark and handsome is still a desire but if you are short, fair and look like Gollum (from ‘Lord of the Rings’), fear not. Just possess a very large bank account and wallet.


2. Care. Women want men that care for them, the kind that will massage their feet after a long day of trekking with heels, run a bath for them and maybe even make dinner.


3. Men who mind their business. Women like men who don’t try to form familiar or invade their space. You don’t have to know all her friends and make small talk about them.


4. Are you a man that uses make up? Yes? Then we have a problem. When you begin to line your eyebrows, dye your hair and maybe even apply a little mascara, she begins to wonder who the woman will be in the relationship.


5. Don’t be a critic. If you are privileged to eat her food, do not criticize it no matter how bad it is. Even if the Jollof Rice tastes like tomato struggle, just smile and show appreciation. This is very important, especially if you don’t know how to cook either.


6. You know that things many guys do (especially the ones from Eastern Nigeria), that Michael Jackson thing where you grab your crotch? Yes. Don’t do that.


7. Sometimes, it’s good to lie. When she asks you what you studied in school, pick one of the masculine courses like Engineering, Maths, Banking etc.


8. A sense of humour. Women want a man that can laugh, not some serious zombie looking dude. But be careful, you have to have genuine humour not the type that laughs at the kind of dry jokes cracked on IK’s comedy show. She also wants this because she will vex you a LOT but your sense of humour ought to help.


9. Mystery. You don’t have to tell her your entire life history; that just seems needy. Let there be some mystery about you. For instance, don’t tell her that the scar on your left arm came as a result of falling from the swing when you were a kid. Tell her it’s from a dark past you don’t want to remember. You see? She’ll be in awe.


10. Responsibility. That’s part of a relationship. Women want a responsible man, not necessarily the one that comes home at 7pm, doesn’t smoke or drink; BUT the one that is responsible for his bills...and hers too.


11. Be dumb sometimes. Women don’t want a man that knows it all. It is okay to have opinions but do not show how intelligent you are all the time. It can be frustrating.


12. Don’t be too friendly. Women see their men as trophies and don’t like when you become too friendly with other women. They like the feeling of having something others want...but can’t have.


13. The most important. Never talk about her weight unless you’re saying she’s lost some.