When Tunde informed us that he was getting married ,it came to us as a surprise. Tunde was known as Life CEO Players Club, Africa. If all the ladies that has slept with Tunde are asked to place their hands on each others shoulders,the line would be longer than the 3rd mainland Bridge in Lagos, Nigeria.
The traditional and white wedding were fixed for the 1st and 2nd of May respectively.

People turned up for the traditional wedding, some came to bless the new union while a larger number came to confirm if Tunde was actually getting married and to ‘what’ since no normal thinking lady will marry him going by his record. The traditional wedding went very well with Tunde dancing and ‘eyeing’ some of the female guest.

On the 2nd of May , while we were getting ready for the wedding as grooms men, we received the sad news that the wedding has been called off by Tunde.
His reason?

He found out on the night of the traditional wedding that the wife was not a VIRGIN .
One question kept going through my mind “Playboy Tunde wants to marry a Virgin?”
Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask, Is there an advantage to being a VIRGIN?

They say birds of the same feather flock together and many times I feel like it’s true but in this instance I hope it’s not. So I was dating this girl a while back, and for the most part she was a great girlfriend. No real cause to complain, but my major issue was her friends.

Her friends were all single, and they party way too much. Every weekend they are going to some club or another and always hanging with random club guys that only God knows what their eye is chooking for. Though I knew my girlfriend doesn’t want anything else, but I felt she was always being exposed to those "good-for-nothing" guys by her friends that are single and still mingling.

Sometimes I over hear the convos her friends have and they are always talking about some guy they smashed or want to smash and all their random escapades. One time they were talking about a guy I knew, he slept with one of them a few times. Are these the kind of friends I want my girlfriend hanging around?

I tried to encourage her to hang out with more girls who are in relationships or married but she says “They are dry and boring, and never want to do anything.” I don’t understand what she meant by that. Is it cos they don’t go out partying all the time?
I feel like her friends are trying to get her to be single(which they succeeded in doing) again and exposing her to all the things that are out there. I feel like they made he realize she doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, and leave me.

How do you keep her from hangout with her single friends all the time? if a girl is serious about a relationship should she be hanging a lot with single friends.
Isn’t that distracting? Or am I just being ridiculous?

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I’m actually pissed as I write this piece; but then again, I’m almost always pissed. When you live in Nigeria, you’re likely to always be on the edge of anger at a lot of things. There’s always something to tick you off, drive you off that precipice of serenity into that pit of rage; it could be traffic, a reckless okada man, a commercial bus driver, your neighbours, that police officer, PHCN, PDP, whatever. The list is almost endless.

However, what draws my ire this time around might actually be petty, depending on how you look at it. And I’m sure it’s a thought that would have crossed your minds also. Worse still, I might have unwittingly participated in it; my friends too, and this creates a sort of ripple effect because it ends up spreading, by our hands, literally. Not anymore (speaking for myself that is).

Overtime, we have come to appreciate the beauty of social media channels and instant messaging in aiding communication with family and friends; transforming the global village into an even smaller global clan. I’m sure you already know the advantages but there’s just one teeny-tiny downside that can be quite annoying; not for what it is, but for how it is being used in Nigeria. It’s the broadcast thingy.

There’s quite a lot of news being peddled around and while some might be real, I’m pretty sure the fake news now outnumber authentic information. Instances abound: once, it was said that there was a prophecy of doom for anyone using 2go on a particular day in June. Trust Nigerians and fear, people logged out instantly. An even more recent hoax was the “DON’T WEAR RED” prophecy allegedly by Pastor E.A. Adeboye. The first thought on my mind when I got the broadcast was what the factory workers at Coca-Cola were going to do since they wore red uniforms; not forgetting LASTMA officials too. Fortunately, the rumour was dispelled before it spread even further.

Some of my contacts now leave me with doubts as to whether they went to school or not; I have the same doubts about myself sometimes.
The most annoying (for me) so far was the fake broadcast about a bus with secondary school students on board, leaving the University of Lagos (I wonder why MAULAG wasn’t allowed to stick) for Obanikoro, suddenly seen en-route Oshogbo. It was said that one of the kids woke up and raised an alarm on twitter (Seriously???!). Once again, people ignorantly spread the rumour, creating an atmosphere of fear and panic without first verifying facts or asking questions such as the following:

1: Aren’t secondary schools supposed to be on long vacation (I know there’s summer school in progress o, don’t bother calling my attention to this)?
2: Isn’t there a possibility that the students (if they’re not at home) could be on an excursion, hence the bus being outside Lagos?
3: Aren’t registered shuttles the only commercial vehicles allowed into UNILAG?
4: What are secondary school students doing in a university (I know UNILAG is supposed to own an International School o, most universities do)?
5: Why hasn’t any parent raised any alarm in the media or to police authorities since the rumour started?
6: Would twitter be the first thing on my mind if I just regained consciousness?
SMH….

Just think about these questions and wonder why they have not being asked or answered before believing and spreading broadcast messages on blackberry phones and social media channels. What irks me most is the fact that a true piece of information would likely be treated like “the boy who cried wolf” if this continues. When false information is allowed to reign supreme, it creates an era of misinformation.
These days, we aren’t even sure what’s real or not anymore. We do not stop to think for ourselves; we just gobble up every bit of information that comes our way without checking for facts. It’s a matter of one mumu creating a hoax and broadcasts it to another mumu who believes it wholeheartedly and broadcasts it again (sometimes acting like the original source) to another mumu; thus the cycle of mumuisim is born. This leaves you wondering who the greater mumu is.

Maybe all that is going on around us has got us scared but should we now mass-produce it? No, a fearful man shouldn’t be an ass you know; that would make him a dead man. I’m not berating anyone but it’s time we start trying to verify facts before pushing them unto the next person. We don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes but we should at least think before broadcasting.
Enough of this mumu.

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I sit down in the chair as I recall the event that happened at the restaurant. She broke up with me. I was shocked when the words came out of her mouth. She did not show any sign of not been happy with me. Yes, we fight like every couple but I thought we had a shot. She broke up with me and yet I did not feel any iota of disappointment. This is my 3rd failed relationship in the space of 3 years.

The women that have broken up with me in the past 3 years have complained about the same thing. I was not open enough and I was not letting my emotions show forth and I act like I am doing them a favour. Maybe they are right that I was not giving my best in the relationship. I might not be able to say the words they want to hear but they just have to realize that I am an onion at the moment and you have to peel me layer by layer before getting to the centre. I need time. I need time especially after what happened.

They all said I have not moved on. They all said I have not let go of the first woman I ever loved. They believed I was holding on and yes, they might have a point. If only they knew my secret. I told them all about the part where I lost her to a car accident. The part of me feeling responsible for her death is the part I leave out. How do I explain to them that I feel responsible for the accident?

I still remember like yesterday, five years ago when all we could talk about was our future. The number of kids we want to have, the kind of life we want to live and how happy a family we hoped to be. I threw all that away when I felt insecure about her married boss paying her a lot of attention. The gift he gave her on her birthday dwarfed mine and the jealousy just increased and I accused her of having an affair with him. She explained things that there was nothing happening and I did not even listen to her.

She came over that fateful night, she was about45 minutes late. I had prepared dinner hoping we will talk over dinner and have make up sex. She apologised for coming late and that she had been stuck in a meeting with her boss. On hearing that, I just flared up, saying all sorts to her. She kept quiet through my rage and it just annoyed me more. She tried speaking when I stopped, I cut her off telling her it was over between us. I watched her as she broke down in tears and tried explaining herself to me. I did not listen and instead I walked her out of my house. She was trying to beg me but it all fell on deaf ears. I pushed her out of the house when she refused to leave.

My phone rang about two hours later, it was her. Why is she still calling? I picked up the call to ask her to stop calling. I heard a man’s voice on the line and he asked me to come to the hospital which he described to me. She been involved in an accident and he called me because my number was the last number dialled on her phone. I got to the hospital and I was taken straight to the morgue. She had died instantly from the impact of the collision with a stationary truck. I fell to my knees and tears just rolled out of my eyes. The doctor asked me if I was aware she was pregnant. Pregnant? I wailed like a baby. She was carrying a baby. A 3 weeks old baby. I had killed mother and child. I had driven both of them out of my house to their death all because I could not listen to her. My jealousy got the best of me.

The guilt still lives with me. How do I move on from that? The thought of it all sickens me and it weighs me down so bad that I just want to scream out to the world to help me but I cannot. I stand up from the chair and walk to the medicine cabinet in my room with my glass of drink still in my hand. Why am I still living ? I can no longer cope with this guilt. It is eating me alive. I get my sleeping pills from the cabinet. I am tired of living with this guilt. It ends tonight.

FROM MY INCOMPLETE BOOK...."(DONT HAVE A TITLE FOR IT YET)"

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You do not need to stay on the Island or drive along Adeyemo Alakija to come in contact with Ashewos because Blackberry and Social network platforms like Facebook and twitter have made it so easy for these people to reach their customers and for their customers to reach them.

Some days ago, two ladies fought on twitter and went about telling their followers and non-followers how they slept with men to get a Blackberry Bold.
Wait did you get that? I mean two ladies, people’s daughters with siblings’ maybe or cousins went on a social network to talk about how they slept with MARRIED men for a communication device with no regards as to who was reading or who could take the message home.

Forget morals …Does prostitution only apply when you stand on the road and wait for a car to pick you, take you to a hotel room (Depending on your class) and bang, bang till it’s over? I don’t think so, if you are having sex with the intention of getting material or financial gratification, you are an ashewo. Kpomkwem .
The game of Ashewo-ism has taken a new dimension; these days you can engage on some below-the-line advertising by using near nude pictures of you as your BBM/Social Network display picture to lure interested men into “pricing”.
In case you are wondering, pricing refers to the that period when she makes you go:

You: Nice DP
Her: Do you like?
You: Yes
Her: You can get it

The discussion continues, a date is set and boom! you’ve smashed her. For some, the demand starts instantly but for others it’s the day after and it’s start with messages like

Her: Hey
You: Why the sad face, what’s the problem?
Her: I just got a message from home.
You: What is the problem?
Her: I don’t want to bother you with my issues.
You: What are friends for? Please tell me
Her: I just got a message from my uncle that my mum needs to undergo a surgery.
You : Oh sorry!
Her : The problem is that they need money from me.
You: How much?
Her : 275k, but you can assist me with ANYTHING

The story goes on and on until you pay for the sex you had with her and depending on how much you paid, you may be smashed over and over.
The truth is that game is gradually leaving the streets and has been christened “Runs“; but unlike the “street standing“ ashis, these “runs” chics go to Dubai and come back with LV bags the same price as their house rent in Okoko.

I don’t have anything against anybody going to Dubai with another person’s husband but let’s call a spade a spade, if you are getting paid for such trips, you are an ashewo and calling yourself a runs chic does not change that fact.
I know some people are going to be mad at me for saying considering that someone may be reading this on an iPad/BB given to her after a long night. Ok I kid! I kid! You deserve it after all it’s not easy trying to stay alive below a pot belly.

Moving on, I was at an event recently and I saw a much bleached woman called Tina who they said was very HAWT in her days as “runs” chic and that got me wondering if Ashewo have an alumni or something
Take for instance – Do you think they will have The Class of 72, Allen Avenue? I mean there would have been some ashis on Allen in those days? Maybe some may go to Italy or retire to their villages but do you think they would still be in touch?

So if they are still in touch what would their discussions sound like? “Hmmm Tina, you remember that time wey we follow that your Nigerian Breweries oyibo go Enugu go scatter ground”.
Funny as it may sound, I think there’s a kind of alumni out there somewhere and the same may also exist for “runs” girls because even in nearby UNILAG, there are hostels populated by “Runs” chics who share same dibias and may continue to stay in touch until His kingdom come.

A friend of mine once said that without the men patronising the ashis,they would have gone extinct but with men out there giving blackberry bold, first class Dubai tickets, LV Bags or paying outright cash, there would always be Ashewos. Did you know that prostitution is one of the oldest profession ever recorded in the Human history?
While I am not pushing for a relationship where a man will do nothing for a lady, we have to agree that a relationship is totally different from patronizing a prostitute.

If you’ve read this article to this length and didn’t pick out anything useful, then the Indomie I was served did its work.

However, I‘ll like you to answer one question…What would be your reaction if your son brings home a lady as the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with and you knew the mother as an Ashewo/Runs chic /follow runs chic ..or worse– the lady was one of your runs? What would your reaction be?

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We have a featured writer Today. He's a good friend of mine.. Enjoy.

Have you ever had an extremely bad day, I mean a really bad day. Am talking like when you wake up in the morning, your head is aching so you stand up to see yourself in the mirror and to your surprise you see that you have got a gigantic pimple on your forehead and your remember that you have a presentation.

Hmm mm. you toss back and forth, left and right, you are reluctant but then you check the time and its ten minutes to your presentation, “My gosh what am I going to do”, you think to yourself “ok ok let me get myself together ”, it’s just a bad day right? So you head for the bathroom to take your bath but your towel is not there “what in the world” thinking, thinking, where could I have dropped it “oh never mind there’s no time” I’d bath like that you say? You turn on the shower but it keeps making belches but no water, you run off naked to get one bucket from the kitchen but its empty “shit I forgot to fetch water yesterday” because you were too tired from yesterday’s hangout.

Arghhhh “you shout” gash your teeth and tighten your fists “what is happening to me” you think to yourself but you remember what the pastor says that we should be positive at all times so you check the time but its three minutes to your presentation. You run again to the parlour thinking that you would go without bathing, without brushing and with the big pimple on your face. You keep moving, no matter what, you don’t let anything stop or discourage you, then you get to your wardrobe to take your premeditated shirt for the occasion but it’s squeezed and it’s two minutes to the presentation already “help me God” you pray, then you rush speedily to brush through the shirt with your long unused pressing iron and when it gets hot enough you press it against your cloth and then your phone rings.

Eager to pick the call,curious to know the caller you dash towards the phone but you fall down “OMG I stepped on a rat” you reach for the continuously ringing phone, your hand moving left to right searching for the little noise maker because you are on the floor. finally there’s the phone“hello” you say!...it’s your friend already at the presentation venue “where are you boy we are about to start” he says, you shrug your shoulder and say you are already on your way, After you cut the call “what’s that acrid stench” something is burning “there’s nothing on the fire now” so as you stand up to get to the kitchen the odour pricks your nose further and you sight your favourite dress burning.

“shit I forgot the iron” you run to lift it up but it’s too damn late, the shirt is toast, so you shout at the top of your voice that the neighbours can hear you but everybody is busy because there’s light (there’s hardly light), not to be pessimistic your take a step forward again “one more try” you think! And its five minutes past the time of the presentation so again you reach for another shirt, squeezed but after what just happened you wore it like that, put on your trouser, your wrist watch and shoes and then headed outside, there goes the phone again “hello” it’s your friend again “nigga where in the world are you” but you answer “nearly there please” and cut the phone, you call a bike man and he charges you heaven and earth but you don’t mind “just for today” you think, please hurry, you tell him. The bike man moves swiftly, swerving left and right then all of a sudden stops “what’s the matter” you ask “I am out of fuel” he says. “But, but” you mutter.

Still being optimistic you look forward and see you’re almost at school hmmm you hand him the angrily squeezed 200 naira note and begin to run towards your destination. Two minutes later “finally the gate” but then you remember that you did not collect your change from the bike man, so you turn your head backwards “hmm too late, he’s gone” you take two steps forward and ponder because the bike man had said no fuel “then how did he, oh forget it”, “yep there’s my venue” but then people are gushing out of the venue “oh no” the presentation has ended “after all the stress” sad, tragic but as if that’s not enough your phone vibrates then rings out, all of a sudden the ring tone is annoying “hello” it’s your landlord, your house is on fire. Eyes wide open, legs paralysed, mouth numb, whole body shaking, phone becomes heavy so you drop it.

Then you shout again but this time with the roar of a wounded lion. All the people gushing out of the auditorium including the professors can hear you “this guy has got issues” they think. Indeed. But they have no idea what you have been through. How do I get home? You ask yourself because that was your last money you gave the bike man. After brainstorming for minutes you sit on the floor beside your nokia 2020, the grass pricks you but you don’t mind, mighty soldier ants climb you like an ant hill, but what more do you have to lose. Then one ant climbs your face and bites you and then you wake up……………sweating profusely
“IT WAS A BAD DREAM”
NOT A BAD DAY
THANK GOD
By. JONERO MENSCH

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I need help …
I need to understand
I need an explanation

I seriously do not understand the process people go through before they decide to take their own life.
I’ve been through a lot, but what’s the real definition of “ bad’? Life has not been all rosy for me. If you put together the number of girls that have turned me down, they would make up a Local Government Area.

I’ve written and failed enough aptitude tests that my answer scripts all put together could be developed into a text book titled “How not to answer test questions for dummies”. At different points I’ve been so broke that I thought that MTN was the best thing after sliced bread for introducing the service that allows subscribers with no units to text people saying “Call me, I love you” but that was until one driver sent it to his female boss. (Yes, it was his last day)
You’ll agree with me that I’ve been through a lot but I’ve never once considered suicide.

How? Maka why? God forbid. So after my suicide, my brother will be rocking my Rock & Republic jeans any how and the people owing me money will never come out to pay my family? People who never really knew you will go to town with different versions of the story.

“His girlfriend was sleeping with his best friend and killed himself after finding out”

while some will say,

“ They denied him Visa to the US because of his beard and he killed himself”

Whatever the case,I, Hendrix "Oluwa(lord)Hman" Nwaokolo, will never contemplate suicide.

As Nigerians, we always thought none of us would ever consider suicide bombing. That was until the morning of December 25th, 2009. Everything we thought we knew about Nigerians changed. Farouk Abdulmultallab, with a promise of 72 (or what’s the right figure?) virgins decided to plant a bomb in his pants to make heaven without thinking that he would require his penis manhood for his Virgins. What’s the use of 72 virgins without your penis manhood? Will he use the virgins as decorations or was he also promised brand new virgin penis manhood in heaven? I still think that if you must commit suicide, kill yourself and leave innocent people. But then again, do you really have the right to take your life?

We all agree that life isn’t easy but nobody said it was going to be! Neither did anyone ever say taking ones life would make life easier for the living. If there’s nothing new under the sun then somebody must have passed through the same thing you may be going through at the moment.
Marriages will always break up; people will always lose their jobs on daily basis and loved ones will always disappoint us. But only the weak will allow such temporary situations weigh them down. Yes, we cannot shape the past but we have the power to change what’s left of our future. Troubles will always come but it’s left for you to push for air or drown. Pulling the trigger on oneself has not been known to have solved any problem.

On Easter Sunday 2004, a certain young man committed suicide because he was deported to Nigeria from overseas. This late young man was sent overseas with money contributed by family and friends. He got there, married a white lady in order to get a green card. But he was cheating on her. When she found out she reported him to law enforcement authorities and because of incomplete documentation he was deported.
On getting back to his motherland- Nigeria, he concluded that he couldn’t cope and took his own life leaving his family and loved ones behind. His death inspired his friend Sound Sultan to write one of his best songs “Motherland”

His death may have inspired a song but hey, that did not stop deportation.
The choice is entirely yours but remember SUICIDE solves nothing.
“Do not be a fool–why die before your time?” says the Good Book.

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I have stopped going to Silverbird Cinemas and the E-Center. Why? Because I have no intention of being paraded on ‘Crime-fighters’ and spending the rest of my life in Kiri-Kiri maximum prison for voluntary manslaughter or something worse! There is something fundamentally wrong with the psyche of the children of this generation. While I have not really sat down to analyse the situation, I am hoping this particular rant of mine will evoke some responses from you guys and maybe solve this dilemma that is presently bothering me.

Have you noticed the horde of ‘juveniles’ who throng the fun spots day in, day out-punching the holy crap out of their blackberry,(ask me what a 14 year old is doing with one, abeg?) chattering away in affected accents, gesticulating like gay lords (which I suspect most of them will grow up to be) and drama queens (which some of them already are) and generally making a right nuisance of themselves.

I remember being in Silverbird one afternoon for something I can’t remember right now… I was walking on the corridor on the first floor when these two little punks stepped out of a shop and began walking towards me. Now, my dear parents taught me to always give my elders the right of way whenever the need arose but I don’t think the parents of these little pricks ever read that script. They kept on walking and one of them had the balls (probably hairless, if you’ll forgive the pun) to bump shoulders with me.

I looked back at him in indignation and was thoroughly irritated to see the punks mean-mugging me back. They whispered something to each other and sniggered away, which strengthened my resolve to revenge their lack of discretion. I stalked them, circling round the floor until I came face to face with them again. The little punk who bumped into me was speaking into his cell phone when he looked up and saw me. He probably saw the sadistic glint in my eye and made to hang up the phone but it was too late… I closed the gap between us and ground the heel of my shoe into his big toe, twisting it as I lovingly sought to cause him as much grief as I could in as short a time as possible.

The little punk opened his mouth to scream but no sound came out. He dropped his phone (pretty expensive looking, I might add) on the floor and clutched his foot in mortal agony. His ‘friend’ weighed the situation and came to the sharp conclusion that I had over 40kg over him and nearly two feet in height and his chances of coming out in a state close to being alive if I had cause to engage in physical combat with him were as slim as Yakubu Aiyegbeni ever winning the World Footballer of the Year award and so he dropped beside his friend and offered what little succour he could while I whistled a jaunty tune and walked away, pleased as a State Governor when the Federal Government releases the monthly revenue allocation.

For some reason, I suspect the quality of audio-visual content these children are made to watch is partly the reason for their literal retardation. The quality of children’s programmes has dropped significantly ever since ‘Voltron’ was yanked off the air. Nowadays, kids have to make do with brain-damaging cartoons like ‘Ben 10’ and ‘Tele-tubbies’. I shudder to think of what I might have been if I was forced to grow up on these!

Here's another instance.

I was at a family function when one little punk (what is the female word?) of a cousin walked up to me. The last time I checked, I was older than the Paris Hilton wanna-be by at least 12 years, but it didn’t stop her from trying enthusiastically to spoil my day. Decked in a traditional outfit that her father must have physically forced her into wearing, lest she turned up for the party looking like a 2nd year prostitute, she was a study in teenage insanity as she flopped into an empty seat beside me without asking for permission first, chewing gum loudly and clutching a high-end Blackberry. I scowled deeply in the vain hope that she would get the message and go bother some other unlucky relative but she obviously didn’t get the message.

'‘Oh dahleeeeeng!'’ She crowed, sounding like a cross between a dying vulture and a Nigerian On-Air personality, ‘eets been aygeeees seence eye saw yoouuuu!’ (I translated that last sentence just the way she said it. But seeing how much torture she inflicted on me with that sentence, I will refrain from subjecting you to the same treatment.) I instantly went into ‘brain-dead’ mode and was blissfully unaware of whatever she might have said in the three minutes or so that she elected to torment my existence. I vaguely remember grunting absently after every third sentence she uttered until she got bored with me and picked some unlucky victim to excruciate.

Another IQ booster for me is the concept of caning… I think caning does a lot to improve a child’s reasoning power! I’ll give you the gist in the sequel… Stay tuuned!! ( •̃͡-̮•̃͡)

“You don’t call me anymore…”
“You only call me when you want to have sex…”
“I asked you the other night, who was calling you at 5 A.M., you just brushed it off…”
“I feel like you’re using me…”
“I don’t fully trust you…”
“Why did you makeup with me after our abrupt break-up 2 weeks earlier?”
“Do you really care about me?”
“You’ve put me through too much emotional turmoil…”
“You can’t keep dumping me like this.”
“I don’t hang out with my friends like I used to because of you.”
“I’ve made a lot of sacrifices for our relationship”

Typical conversation in a relationship on the rocks. Not surprising, upon reading this, we have placed everyone in their (gender) role. We assume the female is the poser of the questions and is met with such a loud response of silence.

Tobi and Gloria met at an event and they quickly found each other very attractive. They would talk every day and night on the phone and online…they used every means of communication known to man. They could not get enough of each other. Gloria quickly started to feel she had met the man of her dreams. He liked the same things she liked. He was just the perfect match for her; a modern day man who respects strong women with great ambition, Tobi was Gloria’s dream come true.

After one week of knowing each other, they became an item. Tobi and Gloria was always together. Tobi could not believe it. He was with this beautiful woman with all the qualities he wanted. To add sugar to the Garri, she was fantastic in bed. “Wow!” From time to time, Tobi would ask Gloria why she was with him. “I don’t have a house, I am just a young man trying to climb to the top. I’m not a doctor…” On and on Tobi would question Gloria’s true intentions. “You are somebody, you have a degree, you’ve survived a lot of things in your life, you’re a strong man. You make me happy, you treat me with so much respect…I feel like you’re my soul mate” Gloria would always assure him.

As if the relationship was not perfect enough, Gloria would cook for Tobi, clean his apartment, do the dishes and so on. She even planed a surprise candle lit dinner for him, in which she modelled new lingerie she bought from Victoria’s Secret, for desert. ” Wow, no one has ever done this for me, ever in my life.” Tobi would say, over and over again. And Gloria, filled with love, would always assure him that he deserved it and even more.


Suddenly, Tobi stopped calling as much. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you calling me like we you used to?” Gloria asked Tobi one day. He replied by telling her he was getting busier at work. Gloria, trying to be understanding, would go to Tobi’s apartment and spend more time with him. She always made the effort to make the relationship strong.

Tobi started to pull away even more. Gloria would wonder what the problem was and would ask Tobi from time to time if he needed to tell her something. She wondered if he was just too scared to accept love, or if she was just smothering him. Tob, who is an only child was abandoned by his own father (who is a yoruba man o) at some point in his life, and when it was time for the next family member ( his own mother, also a yoruba woman) to take over custody of him, she refused and allowed him to be placed in a foster home.

You see, Gloria felt this overwhelming motherly instinct to protect Tobi and make up for his lost years by showering him with so much love. Tobi wasn’t too bad of a boyfriend himself. He was amazing in bed. Did EVERYTHING a woman would want a man to do, to please her..
She started to find out that Tobi was spending more time with his platonic female friends. These were the friends he told Gloria about in the beginning of the relationship. Gloria had no problem with Tobi having lots of female friends, he considered them his sisters who made up for the lack of family in his life. She just assumed they would know their place, or at least, Tobi would. One problem, they were over protective of Tobi and would always make him sceptical of Gloria’s intentions.

Months passed by with Tobi’s coldness. After several sleepless nights and endless tears resulting from unanswered questions, Gloria decided she wasn’t going to waste her time any longer. They would break up and get right back together. Several times.

Eventually, Tobi started getting fond of Gloria. He cut down on the time he spent with his friends and made more time for her. He even gave her his second car. He was always a very thoughtful person. When he could, he would make sacrifices for her every chance he got.

Funny thing is, Gloria was already gone. It was Tobi’s turn to cry her a lagoon! The set of questions above are the questions Tobi asked Gloria right before their final break up.

Ps. The characters above are in no form related to any 'Tobi' and 'Gloria' in real life. If it matches any body in real life, it is pure coincidence.
*_*

President Obama is definitely one of the best orators the world has even seen. Incredible speech. See it below...
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Tonight, more than 200 years after a former colony won the right to determine its own destiny, the task of perfecting our union moves forward. It moves forward because of you. It moves forward because you reaffirmed the spirit that has triumphed over war and depression, the spirit that has lifted this country from the depths of despair to the great heights of hope, thebelief that while each of us will pursue our own individual dreams, we are an American family and we rise or fall together as one nation and as one people.
(APPLAUSE) Tonight, in this election, you, the American people, reminded us that while our road has been hard, while our journey has been long, we have picked ourselves up, we have fought our way back, and we know in our hearts that for the United States of America the best is yet to come. I want to thank every American who participated in this election...
(APPLAUSE) ... whether you voted for the very first time or waited in line for a very long time.
(APPLAUSE) By the way, we have to fix that. (APPLAUSE) Whether you pounded the pavement or picked up the phone... (APPLAUSE) ... whether you held an Obama sign or a Romney sign, you made your voice heard and you made a difference. I just spoke with Governor Romney and I congratulated him and Paul Ryan on a hard-fought campaign.
(APPLAUSE) We may have battled fiercely, but it's only because we love this country deeply and we care so strongly about its future. From George to Lenore totheir son Mitt, the Romney family has chosen to give back to America through public service and that is the legacy that we honor and applaud tonight.
(APPLAUSE) In the weeks ahead, I also look forward to sitting down with Governor Romney to talk about where we can work together to move this country forward.
(APPLAUSE) I want to thank my friend and partner of the last four years, America's happy warrior, the best vice president anybody could ever hope for, Joe Biden. And I wouldn't be the man I am today without the woman who agreed to marry me 20 years ago.
(APPLAUSE) Let me say this publicly: Michelle, I have never loved you more. I have never been prouder to watch the rest of America fall in love with you, too, as our nation's first lady.
(APPLAUSE) Sasha and Malia, before our very eyes you're going up to become two strong, smart beautifulyoung women, just like your mom. And I'm so proud of you guys. But I will say that for now one dog's probably enough.
(LAUGHTER) To the best campaign team and volunteers in the history of politics...
(APPLAUSE) The best. The best ever. Some of you were new this time around, and some of you have been at my side since the very beginning.
(APPLAUSE) But all of you are family. No matter whatyou do or where you go from here, you will carry the memory of the history we made together and you will have the life-long appreciation of a grateful president.Thank you for believing all the way, through every hill,through every valley.
(APPLAUSE) You lifted me up the whole way and I will always be grateful for everything that you've done and all the incredible work that you put in.
(APPLAUSE) I know that political campaigns can sometimes seem small, even silly. And that provides plenty of fodder for the cynics that tell us that politics is nothing more than a contest of egos or the domain of special interests. But if you ever get the chance to talk to folks who turned out at our rallies and crowdedalong a rope line in a high school gym, or saw folks working late in a campaign office in some tiny county far away from home, you'll discover something else. You'll hear the determination in the voice of a young field organizer who's working his way through college and wants to make sure every child has that same opportunity.
(APPLAUSE) You'll hear the pride in the voice of a volunteer who's going door to door because her brother was finally hired when the local auto plant added another shift.
(APPLAUSE) You'll hear the deep patriotism in the voice of a military spouse whose working the phones late at night to make sure that no one who fights for this country ever has to fight for a job or a roof over their head when they come home.
(APPLAUSE) That's why we do this. That's what politics can be. That's why elections matter. It's not small, it's big. It's important. Democracy in a nation of 300 million can be noisy and messy and complicated. We have our own opinions. Each of us has deeply held beliefs. And when we go through tough times, when we make big decisions as a country, it necessarily stirs passions, stirs up controversy. That won't change after tonight, and it shouldn't. These arguments we have are a mark of our liberty. We can never forget that as we speak people in distant nations are risking their lives right now just for a chance to argue about the issues that matter, the chance to cast their ballots like we did today.
(APPLAUSE) But despite all our differences, most of us share certain hopes for America's future. We want our kids to grow up in a country where they have access to the best schools and the best teachers.
(APPLAUSE) A country that lives up to its legacy as the global leader in technology and discovery and innovation, with all the good jobs and new businesses that follow. We want our children to live in an America that isn't burdened by debt, that isn't weakened by inequality, that isn't threatened by the destructive power of a warming planet.
(APPLAUSE) We want to pass on a country that's safe and respected and admired around the world, a nationthat is defended by the strongest military on earth and the best troops this - this world has ever known.
(APPLAUSE) But also a country that moves with confidence beyond this time of war, to shape a peace that is built on the promise of freedom and dignity for every human being. We believe in a generous America, in a compassionate America, in a tolerant America, open to the dreams of an immigrant's daughter who studies in our schools and pledges to our flag.
(APPLAUSE) To the young boy on the south side of Chicago who sees a life beyond the nearest street corner.
(APPLAUSE) To the furniture worker's child in North Carolina who wants to become a doctor or a scientist, an engineer or an entrepreneur, a diplomat or even a president - that's the future we hope for. That's the vision we share. That's where we need to go: forward.
(APPLAUSE) That's where we need to go. Now, we will disagree, sometimes fiercely, about how to get there. As it has for more than two centuries, progress will come in fits and starts. It's not always a straight line. It's not always a smooth path. By itself, the recognition that we have common hopes and dreams won't end all the gridlock or solve all our problems or substitute for the painstaking work of building consensus and making the difficult compromises needed to move this country forward. But that common bond is where we must begin. Our economy isrecovering. A decade of war is ending. A long campaign is now over.
(APPLAUSE) And whether I earned your vote or not, Ihave listened to you, I have learned from you, and you've made me a better president. And with your stories and your struggles, I return to the White House more determined and more inspired than ever about the work there is to do and the future that lies ahead.
(APPLAUSE) Tonight you voted for action, not politics as usual. (APPLAUSE) You elected us to focus on your jobs, not ours. And in the coming weeks and months, I am looking forward to reaching out and working with leaders of both parties to meet the challenges we can only solve together: reducing our deficit, reforming our tax code, fixing our immigration system, freeing ourselves from foreign oil. We've got more work to do.
(APPLAUSE) OBAMA: But that doesn't mean your work is done. The role of citizen in our democracy does not end with your vote. America's never been about what can be done for us. It's about what can be done by us together through the hard and frustrating,but necessary work of self- government. That's the principle we were founded on.
(APPLAUSE) This country has more wealth than any nation, but that's not what makes us rich. We have the most powerful military in history, but that's not what makes us strong. Our university, our culture are all the envy of the world, but that's not what keeps the world coming to our shores. What makes America exceptional are the bonds that hold together the mostdiverse nation on Earth. The belief that our destiny is shared, that this country only works when we accept certain obligations to one another and to future generations. The freedom which so many Americans have fought for and died for come with responsibilitiesas well as rights. And among those are love and charity and duty and patriotism. That's what makes America great.
(APPLAUSE) I am hopeful tonight because I've seen the spirit at work in America. I've seen it in the family business whose owners would rather cut their own pay than lay off their neighbors, and in the workers who would rather cut back their hours than see a friend lose a job. I've seen it in the soldiers who reenlist after losing a limb and in those SEALs who charged up the stairs into darkness and danger because they knew there was a buddy behind them watching their back.
(APPLAUSE) I've seen it on the shores of New Jersey and New York, where leaders from every party and level of government have swept aside their differences to help a community rebuild from the wreckage of a terrible storm.
(APPLAUSE) And I saw just the other day, in Mentor, Ohio, where a father told the story of his 8-year-old daughter, whose long battle with leukemia nearly costtheir family everything had it not been for health care reform passing just a few months before the insurancecompany was about to stop paying for her care.
(APPLAUSE) I had an opportunity to not just talk to the father, but meet this incredible daughter of his. And when he spoke to the crowd listening to that father's story, every parent in that room had tears in their eyes, because we knew that little girl could be our own. And I know that every American wants her future to be just as bright. That's who we are. That's the country I'm so proud to lead as your president.
(APPLAUSE) And tonight, despite all the hardship we've been through, despite all the frustrations of Washington, I've never been more hopeful about our future.
(APPLAUSE) I have never been more hopeful about America. And I ask you to sustain that hope. I'm not talking about blind optimism, the kind of hope that just ignores the enormity of the tasks ahead or the roadblocks that stand in our path. I'm not talking about the wishful idealism that allows us to just sit on the sidelines or shirk from a fight. I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting.
(APPLAUSE) America, I believe we can build on the progress we've made and continue to fight for new jobs and new opportunity and new security for the middle class. I believe we can keep the promise of our founders, the idea that if you're willing to work hard, itdoesn't matter who you are or where you come from or what you look like or where you love. It doesn't matter whether you're black or white or Hispanic or Asian or Native American or young or old or rich or poor, able, disabled, gay or straight, you can make it here in America if you're willing to try.
(APPLAUSE) I believe we can seize this future together because we are not as divided as our politics suggests. We're not as cynical as the pundits believe. We are greater than the sum of our individual ambitions, and we remain more than a collection of red states and blue states. We are and forever will be the United States of America.
(APPLAUSE) And together with your help and God's grace we will continue our journey forward and remindthe world just why it is that we live in the greatest nation on Earth. Thank you, America. God bless you. God bless these United States.
-President Barack Obama