Archive for October 2012
Open Letter To My kid Sister On Her Birthday
Today is my little sister's birthday.
and as such, today's post is dedicated to her
and to that beautiful thing called sisterhood.
Dear Elfrida,
Happy birthday! Lemme say this, You're growing too fast!, Now, I know that I never actually admit my love to you, and have a bad habit of teasing you and putting you down at times, but I'm just not the mushy, sweet kind of person.Which is why it's easier to say such things in writing than show in actions. So, this letter's gonna be full of advice and well wishes.
First of all, I'm sorry - I'm sorry if at times I hurt your feelings and make you feel bad, whether it's intentional or on accident. I'm sorry that I don't tell you often enough that I love you and I'm so blessed to have you as my sister. I'm sorry for not being there at times when you needed me most. I'm sorry for a lot of things I may have done or said, so I hope you forgive me. Because as we grow up into adults, our relationship will change, and I hope it becomes stronger with time!
You're such an amazing person, that sometimes, it humbles me so deeply. You're so sweet and kind and beautiful , from both the outside and inside. You're so talented and caring. Your passion for Christ is amazing. You have a way with kids that many people can only wish for. In your simple ways, you gently make changes in the world and lives around you. One day, I know you will make an amazing wife and mother. In the end though, to be quite honest, there are not enough words in the world to describe how amazing I think you really are. I don't want to inflate your pride by going on and on, but I do want to let you know that I do appreciate you, even though at times I may not be so good at showing it.
Thank you for being there for me, when I'm hungry sometimes late into the night :-). For doing little things for me to make my day a little easier. For standing up for me when people try to put me down. For all the times you made me laugh, or prayed for me when I closed up and battled my problems on my own, usually pushing you away. Thank you for everything.
I wish you so many blessings, not only for this year, but for the rest of your life. You deserve only the very best!
As you mature into a young woman, do your best to stay with the Lord. Don't let your friends, or the media, or anyone tell you who to be, how to dress, what to do. God has a plan for you, one that is beyond anything we can imagine or plan. Be your own person, even if you're the only one standing in a room full of people sitting, stand proud and speak up, because God is with you and he will give you the strength to do the right thing and reward you in the end. I know that sometimes it's hard, staying pure and humble in today's society, but it's so worth it in the end. If you look straight ahead and go on with a prayer in mind and Jesus by your side, you can't go wrong. People will try to break you, sometimes through hidden motives, sometimes point blank, but I pray that God helps you stand strong. Remember, the only person worth impressing or living for is God. One of my life mottos is "Living for the audience of One." He's the only one who matters. He's the one who you should impress, befriend and love. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you, they're just people.
Lastly, don't let any of those fake expectations get in the way of your true beauty. Yes, there are beautiful people out there, but are they happy? Because I know that the prettiest girls are the happiest. :)
So, go out there and make a change. Become who you want to become. I know that you have a bright future ahead of you, you'll touch many lives and help countless hearts. You're so beautiful and amazing. You're constantly in my prayers and in my heart. May God bless you abundantely. Happy 14years birthday.
Love,
Me
P.S..
Dedicating this to my two lovely sisters(and brother)
"
A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay.
A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more thandimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.
When she is by your side, the world is filled with life,
When she is not around, your days are full of strife.
A sister is a blessing, who fills your heart with love,
She flies with you in life with the beauty of a dove.
A companion to whom you can express your feelings,
She doesn’t let you get bored at family dealings.
Whether you are having your ups or downs,
She always helps you with a smile and never frowns.
With a sister you cannot have a grudge,
She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge.
Having a sister is not just a trend,
It is knowing you can always turn to her, your best friend.
"
and as such, today's post is dedicated to her
and to that beautiful thing called sisterhood.
Dear Elfrida,
Happy birthday! Lemme say this, You're growing too fast!, Now, I know that I never actually admit my love to you, and have a bad habit of teasing you and putting you down at times, but I'm just not the mushy, sweet kind of person.Which is why it's easier to say such things in writing than show in actions. So, this letter's gonna be full of advice and well wishes.
First of all, I'm sorry - I'm sorry if at times I hurt your feelings and make you feel bad, whether it's intentional or on accident. I'm sorry that I don't tell you often enough that I love you and I'm so blessed to have you as my sister. I'm sorry for not being there at times when you needed me most. I'm sorry for a lot of things I may have done or said, so I hope you forgive me. Because as we grow up into adults, our relationship will change, and I hope it becomes stronger with time!
You're such an amazing person, that sometimes, it humbles me so deeply. You're so sweet and kind and beautiful , from both the outside and inside. You're so talented and caring. Your passion for Christ is amazing. You have a way with kids that many people can only wish for. In your simple ways, you gently make changes in the world and lives around you. One day, I know you will make an amazing wife and mother. In the end though, to be quite honest, there are not enough words in the world to describe how amazing I think you really are. I don't want to inflate your pride by going on and on, but I do want to let you know that I do appreciate you, even though at times I may not be so good at showing it.
Thank you for being there for me, when I'm hungry sometimes late into the night :-). For doing little things for me to make my day a little easier. For standing up for me when people try to put me down. For all the times you made me laugh, or prayed for me when I closed up and battled my problems on my own, usually pushing you away. Thank you for everything.
I wish you so many blessings, not only for this year, but for the rest of your life. You deserve only the very best!
As you mature into a young woman, do your best to stay with the Lord. Don't let your friends, or the media, or anyone tell you who to be, how to dress, what to do. God has a plan for you, one that is beyond anything we can imagine or plan. Be your own person, even if you're the only one standing in a room full of people sitting, stand proud and speak up, because God is with you and he will give you the strength to do the right thing and reward you in the end. I know that sometimes it's hard, staying pure and humble in today's society, but it's so worth it in the end. If you look straight ahead and go on with a prayer in mind and Jesus by your side, you can't go wrong. People will try to break you, sometimes through hidden motives, sometimes point blank, but I pray that God helps you stand strong. Remember, the only person worth impressing or living for is God. One of my life mottos is "Living for the audience of One." He's the only one who matters. He's the one who you should impress, befriend and love. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you, they're just people.
Lastly, don't let any of those fake expectations get in the way of your true beauty. Yes, there are beautiful people out there, but are they happy? Because I know that the prettiest girls are the happiest. :)
So, go out there and make a change. Become who you want to become. I know that you have a bright future ahead of you, you'll touch many lives and help countless hearts. You're so beautiful and amazing. You're constantly in my prayers and in my heart. May God bless you abundantely. Happy 14years birthday.
Love,
Me
P.S..
Dedicating this to my two lovely sisters(and brother)
"
A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay.
A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more thandimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.
When she is by your side, the world is filled with life,
When she is not around, your days are full of strife.
A sister is a blessing, who fills your heart with love,
She flies with you in life with the beauty of a dove.
A companion to whom you can express your feelings,
She doesn’t let you get bored at family dealings.
Whether you are having your ups or downs,
She always helps you with a smile and never frowns.
With a sister you cannot have a grudge,
She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge.
Having a sister is not just a trend,
It is knowing you can always turn to her, your best friend.
"
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Tag :
about me
ALUU 4: Goodnight Pain
ALUU 4: Goodnight Pain.
"thieves, thieves" he screamed, it was almost funny. Not until more voices joined the chorus as they screamed and shouted on us. We could have ran at least to save our lives, but our intentions were genuine and little did we know how the day would end. From a handful of young men shouting and throwing questions at us, it escalated to a crowd of angry mob. There was no way we could escape this one, so we calmed down. They pushed us around and then stripped us all.
These men pulled us pants down, we were more than embarrassed, the whole community watched, I recognized few faces fromthe crowd. Obviously they were so afraid to say"stop" then the beating started, I wished it to be just a nightmare. But it was real, these men were determined. They dropped heavy rocks on our heads, they pounded our faces with large planks, blood covered our eyes, they matched and kicked us right on our bleeding nostrils, we couldn't breathe.
"Bring tire" one of the men repeated, until they brought the tires. "Oh God!" We watched the crowd watch us, we raised hands of plea, we couldn't speak, Some hid, some shot videos and took pictures. there was no one to stop this. This was the point we knew it was over. We felt pain, helpless and hopeless. I thought of my siblings, I wondered how my mum would take this. She would fall apart. I begged God to hold her for me, comfort and make her strong for me, I prayed same for my friends.
Then we started crying, we cried together. the tears gave us headaches. We looked up high, the sky was still. Rings of tires landed on our necks, they kept hitting us, but we were numb already. They set us ablaze. We rolledaround, tried to reach for each other, I wondered who would give up first, the fire burned our bodies. it hurt, it hurt and then it hurt. But suddenly the pain stopped, Then I couldn't hear any other thing, but silence.
I thanked God. the pain was over and Gods glory was revealed. Goodnight pain. RIP ALUU#4:
"thieves, thieves" he screamed, it was almost funny. Not until more voices joined the chorus as they screamed and shouted on us. We could have ran at least to save our lives, but our intentions were genuine and little did we know how the day would end. From a handful of young men shouting and throwing questions at us, it escalated to a crowd of angry mob. There was no way we could escape this one, so we calmed down. They pushed us around and then stripped us all.
These men pulled us pants down, we were more than embarrassed, the whole community watched, I recognized few faces fromthe crowd. Obviously they were so afraid to say"stop" then the beating started, I wished it to be just a nightmare. But it was real, these men were determined. They dropped heavy rocks on our heads, they pounded our faces with large planks, blood covered our eyes, they matched and kicked us right on our bleeding nostrils, we couldn't breathe.
"Bring tire" one of the men repeated, until they brought the tires. "Oh God!" We watched the crowd watch us, we raised hands of plea, we couldn't speak, Some hid, some shot videos and took pictures. there was no one to stop this. This was the point we knew it was over. We felt pain, helpless and hopeless. I thought of my siblings, I wondered how my mum would take this. She would fall apart. I begged God to hold her for me, comfort and make her strong for me, I prayed same for my friends.
Then we started crying, we cried together. the tears gave us headaches. We looked up high, the sky was still. Rings of tires landed on our necks, they kept hitting us, but we were numb already. They set us ablaze. We rolledaround, tried to reach for each other, I wondered who would give up first, the fire burned our bodies. it hurt, it hurt and then it hurt. But suddenly the pain stopped, Then I couldn't hear any other thing, but silence.
I thanked God. the pain was over and Gods glory was revealed. Goodnight pain. RIP ALUU#4:
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.
Yahoo Boyz No Laptop
I got a fraudulent SMS from an unknown number yesterday morning, and after some thought, I decided to write a post about it.
The SMS goes thus;
"Congratulation! You have won #300,000.00 Your no is among the 42 lucky winners of LACASERA (A popular soft drink in Nigeria) DRINK PROMO. Ticket no, MTN3G. Call MRS. Faith Oyedepo (they used the name of pastor David Oyedepo wife) 08067422422. To claim your prize."
It didn’t help that I was in a bad mood when it came in and I couldn’t help replying the fraudsters with some choice words that my mom spent close to 20 years trying to prevent me from learning. My response; ‘ You muthafuckers must be really dumb to think anyone will fall for you scam… Lacasera promo,my arse! God Punish You!!!
I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I was at the end of my tether. I have had people call me up and address me by my first name, claiming to have met me in the past and offering me deals which promise fantastic returns. Depending on my mood, I play along until I feel I’ve burnt enough of their airtime and then I hang up and refuse to pick subsequent calls. In the past, it was just foreigners that were being targeted but with increased surveillance by anti-fraud authorities (local and International), the fraudsters switched their focus to the local scene with varying degrees of success.
The sentence structures of the proposals are nearly always filled with grammatical errors. Most ‘yahoo boys’ (local parlance for fraudsters) are school drop-outs and they invariably expose their lack of education when they try to communicate with people. Another trait of yahoo boys is to offer fantastic returns on a seemingly easy business deal. I had a guy call me up one day, claiming to be a Port-Harcourt based staff of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation. He offered me a return of N15,000,000 (approximately 99,000 dollars)if I would agree to bribe his boss with N200,000 (approximately 1,400 dollars) so he would award me a contract to supply NNPC with some office equipment. I told him to stick it up his arse and cut the call!
On the streets of Lagos, it is common to see young lads who have no verifiable source of income driving flashy cars, wearing expensive clothes, and sporting the latest communication and entertainment gadgets. In clubs they buy the most expensive bottles of liquor and hold court in the centre of their sycophant friends who more often than not, find ‘other’ friends when the pipeline goes dry. Really, if I were a cop and I saw a 20-year old kid driving a Range Rover sport and carrying a blackberry Porsche, I would shoot him in the leg and drag him to my station and ask questions later.
The ‘419’ (local slang for advance-fee fraud) boys, in their ‘pursuit of happiness’, go to great lengths to snag a ‘maga’ (local slang for victim of these schemes) including employing diabolical means. Stories abound of fraudsters who patronise witch-doctors for‘ special powers’ to help them fleece their targets of their money.
This group of individuals, who represent less than 0.0001% of Nigeria’s population, have given the country a terrible reputation in the community of Nations. Nearly every form of communication that emanates from Nigeria or a Nigerian is scrutinised with a fine tooth comb. Nigerians who travel out of the country are usually separated from boarding or arrival lines and frisked to the point of embarrassment at airports. I seriously am not looking forward to travelling out of the country anytime soon, especially after the Christmas Day bomb scare by that dumb-ass Abdulmutallab fella which has gotten international airport security teams paranoid about Nigerians.
I’m not defending the actions of these people, but how come the world behaves like Nigerians are the scum of the earth? America has one of the highest crime rates in the world, ranging from gang violence to drug wars. Britain is home to crackpots and skinheads who stab people on the streets. The Russian mafia is one of the most feared in the world and they have some really heavy scam artists too. So, why is Nigeria so vilified? It gets my goose whenever I read any negative report about Nigeria on the internet.
Sony released an advert for the new PS3 and in the ad, a guy said; ‘If you believe everything you hear on the internet, you’ll be a Nigerian millionaire.’ Come on! After some ranting by the Nigerian Government, the material was withdrawn and a high-powered delegation from Sony visited Nigeria and met with Information Minister, Dora Akunyili to apologise. Why was it allowed to air in the first place? That goof almost made me NOT buy the PS3 console after my xbox 360 packed up (But I’m too much of a game freak to let that get to me! Sony, behave or… …)
Ok… I’m outta breath! I don’t know why but I just felt the need to let out some steam.
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Tag :
about me
What Exactly Do Women Want
What exactly do women want? I have asked myself this question numerous times and I have tried hard to figure it out. Truth be told, it might vary from woman to woman but really, we guys do not actually have a clue as to what women want. Even some of these women do not actually know what they want.
Most women you meet tell you their ideal man should be tall,dark,handsome,rich and blah, blah,blah. At the end of the day they meet the man and at the end of the day something is still missing. They still have something to complain about.
A girl and a boy meet and like each other and naturally she expects the guy to make the first move. If he moves too fast, he is desperate, if he takes his time, he is slow and has bad timing. What do women want?
Let us assume he gets the timing right by a stroke of luck, if he compliments her (genuine or otherwise) he just wants to sleep with her. If he does not throw the compliment around, he is not romantic and he is not open. What do women want?
She goes on a date with him, if he tries to be nice and opens doors and holds the chair out for her during the date, he is trying too hard and it is not in our culture. If he does not open doors or hold out the chair for her, he is not a gentleman. What do women want?
After the date, they probably are close and the feelings are stronger, if he does not reply her chat on time, he is busy with someone else and does not have her time. If he replies her immediately he is jobless. What do women want?
If he replies her with ‘K’ she is boring to him. If he types an epistle he talks too much. What do women want?
Finally they start dating, and things are all rosy. If he asks what her day is going to be like, he does not trust her and he is all over her. If he does not ask after her plans for the day, he does not care about her. What do women want?
If she gets into a fight with her best friend, and you decide to stay out of it, you are not supportive of her. If you decide to weigh in on it and say your mind, you are insensitive. What do women want?
If she asks you if she has added weight, and you say no, you are lying to her. If you say yes, she gets angry at you and starts feeling insecure and haunts you with what you said. She shows you girls who are skinny and asks that is what you want right? What do women want?
If you decide to hangout with your guys one weekend in the month instead of with her, she feels spited and says your friends are more important than she is. She makes you feel guilty, but when you want her to spend a weekend with you instead of with her friends, you are too possessive. What do women want?
If you decide to watch football instead of go shopping with her, football is your priority. She says things like how much are you going to get for watching it. If she decides to watch Kardashians and you say same, you are selfish. What do women want?
The list is endless. It takes a lot to actually understand women. A wise man once told me , if you want to be happy with your woman, just take her as she is. They are emotional and at times will do things that just makes you wonder if they are babies. Never try to change your woman.
(Add yours in the comment section)
Most women you meet tell you their ideal man should be tall,dark,handsome,rich and blah, blah,blah. At the end of the day they meet the man and at the end of the day something is still missing. They still have something to complain about.
A girl and a boy meet and like each other and naturally she expects the guy to make the first move. If he moves too fast, he is desperate, if he takes his time, he is slow and has bad timing. What do women want?
Let us assume he gets the timing right by a stroke of luck, if he compliments her (genuine or otherwise) he just wants to sleep with her. If he does not throw the compliment around, he is not romantic and he is not open. What do women want?
She goes on a date with him, if he tries to be nice and opens doors and holds the chair out for her during the date, he is trying too hard and it is not in our culture. If he does not open doors or hold out the chair for her, he is not a gentleman. What do women want?
After the date, they probably are close and the feelings are stronger, if he does not reply her chat on time, he is busy with someone else and does not have her time. If he replies her immediately he is jobless. What do women want?
If he replies her with ‘K’ she is boring to him. If he types an epistle he talks too much. What do women want?
Finally they start dating, and things are all rosy. If he asks what her day is going to be like, he does not trust her and he is all over her. If he does not ask after her plans for the day, he does not care about her. What do women want?
If she gets into a fight with her best friend, and you decide to stay out of it, you are not supportive of her. If you decide to weigh in on it and say your mind, you are insensitive. What do women want?
If she asks you if she has added weight, and you say no, you are lying to her. If you say yes, she gets angry at you and starts feeling insecure and haunts you with what you said. She shows you girls who are skinny and asks that is what you want right? What do women want?
If you decide to hangout with your guys one weekend in the month instead of with her, she feels spited and says your friends are more important than she is. She makes you feel guilty, but when you want her to spend a weekend with you instead of with her friends, you are too possessive. What do women want?
If you decide to watch football instead of go shopping with her, football is your priority. She says things like how much are you going to get for watching it. If she decides to watch Kardashians and you say same, you are selfish. What do women want?
The list is endless. It takes a lot to actually understand women. A wise man once told me , if you want to be happy with your woman, just take her as she is. They are emotional and at times will do things that just makes you wonder if they are babies. Never try to change your woman.
(Add yours in the comment section)
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Tag :
about me
My Sugar Mummy and I: Hell Yea (The Concluding Part)
Teni came in early around 10:48am and I immediately knew that was impatient Teni waiting in line to get my rammifier (I’m sure I’m not the only one that names his dick) and I went to the gate to open it and there she was, ravishing (and somewhat revealing) as always with nylon bags on bothhands and she laughed at my belly and said “ I thought you work out? ”
“That’s what graduation does to you and is that your way of saying hi? You should be punished” I said
“I’ve been a bad girl daddy, punish me and spare not the rod, yet spoil me”
And she jumped to hug me and I have a surprise for you and before then I have a secret I want to share with you….NO PLS, NOT ANY MORE SECRETS!!!
I thought I said it in my mind now knowing my mouth had spilled a little and she asked “Has temi told you?…that silly girl!…I knew it, she just couldn’t keep her mouth from running and couldn’t keep her eyes off u…oh I…..”
I quickly stopped her “nooo, she said nothing, it’s just am finding it hard to keep up with my demons and secrets that threatens to shake my existence and family real hard but I guess u won’t understand…by the way..really? Temi’s tripping? Who could have thought that?!”
“..oops I guess I just blew it, pls don’t tell her pls?!”
I planted a kiss on her and reassured her that her slip-offs are safe with me as I escorted her to my apartment and asked her what the real secrets are and after few shy moves and persuasion she said “ this is my first time! ”
Really? Are you kidding me? That’s the secret? Thank God! “ Don’t worry, I’d go gentle on you ” I said after a very long pause as I went down to slowly undress her to reveal her red underwear (which she told me were Victoria’s secrets) and a tattoo of a butterfly on her huge bum. She has a very gorgeous body and a cute look to go with it. Just then she reached out for one of the nylon bags and brought out a porn DVD and flavoured condoms. I told her we need no porn cos we’ll invent our very own styles and we have almost the whole day to ourselves, I eased off her panties to expose her clean shaven haven dripping with juice as she was literally melting with every touch.
I reached into the bedside fridge with one hand to break off a chunk of ice and rubbed it on her extremely hard clitoris and that got her screaming as she came squirting on my face, that was my very first squirt and an impressive one too. She felt very embarrassed about the squirt and I took time out to explain the normality of the process and just when she felt confident, I flipped her over and rammed her gently from behind, quite tightly at first but soon eased up to allow the whole content of my manhood, just as I was enjoying my ride I heard a loud moan and I knew Jericho has fallen. She turned and held on to me tightly as a baby monkey would. She let em tears flow gently on her cheeks lighting up her face.
I soon got over the moment and asked her if she was ready for some real fun and with her tear stained voice she moaned a yes and I showed her who’s boss and afterwards we ate lunch.
She took some painkillers and we headed out in the “Altima” to drop her off to the nearest place she can get a cab home. She got out and leaned over the windows to thank me and she said “ I can’t thank you enough. This is the exact way I pictured my first time; affectionate and wild. Only I pictured my boyfriend as the guy. I did leave you a little something under the pillow and I hope this doesn’t end” and then she blew me a kiss.
As I drove home, I thought to myself “ is this the life I wanted as a gigolo? ”….and the only answer I could give myself was HELL YEA!!
“That’s what graduation does to you and is that your way of saying hi? You should be punished” I said
“I’ve been a bad girl daddy, punish me and spare not the rod, yet spoil me”
And she jumped to hug me and I have a surprise for you and before then I have a secret I want to share with you….NO PLS, NOT ANY MORE SECRETS!!!
I thought I said it in my mind now knowing my mouth had spilled a little and she asked “Has temi told you?…that silly girl!…I knew it, she just couldn’t keep her mouth from running and couldn’t keep her eyes off u…oh I…..”
I quickly stopped her “nooo, she said nothing, it’s just am finding it hard to keep up with my demons and secrets that threatens to shake my existence and family real hard but I guess u won’t understand…by the way..really? Temi’s tripping? Who could have thought that?!”
“..oops I guess I just blew it, pls don’t tell her pls?!”
I planted a kiss on her and reassured her that her slip-offs are safe with me as I escorted her to my apartment and asked her what the real secrets are and after few shy moves and persuasion she said “ this is my first time! ”
Really? Are you kidding me? That’s the secret? Thank God! “ Don’t worry, I’d go gentle on you ” I said after a very long pause as I went down to slowly undress her to reveal her red underwear (which she told me were Victoria’s secrets) and a tattoo of a butterfly on her huge bum. She has a very gorgeous body and a cute look to go with it. Just then she reached out for one of the nylon bags and brought out a porn DVD and flavoured condoms. I told her we need no porn cos we’ll invent our very own styles and we have almost the whole day to ourselves, I eased off her panties to expose her clean shaven haven dripping with juice as she was literally melting with every touch.
I reached into the bedside fridge with one hand to break off a chunk of ice and rubbed it on her extremely hard clitoris and that got her screaming as she came squirting on my face, that was my very first squirt and an impressive one too. She felt very embarrassed about the squirt and I took time out to explain the normality of the process and just when she felt confident, I flipped her over and rammed her gently from behind, quite tightly at first but soon eased up to allow the whole content of my manhood, just as I was enjoying my ride I heard a loud moan and I knew Jericho has fallen. She turned and held on to me tightly as a baby monkey would. She let em tears flow gently on her cheeks lighting up her face.
I soon got over the moment and asked her if she was ready for some real fun and with her tear stained voice she moaned a yes and I showed her who’s boss and afterwards we ate lunch.
She took some painkillers and we headed out in the “Altima” to drop her off to the nearest place she can get a cab home. She got out and leaned over the windows to thank me and she said “ I can’t thank you enough. This is the exact way I pictured my first time; affectionate and wild. Only I pictured my boyfriend as the guy. I did leave you a little something under the pillow and I hope this doesn’t end” and then she blew me a kiss.
As I drove home, I thought to myself “ is this the life I wanted as a gigolo? ”….and the only answer I could give myself was HELL YEA!!
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about me
Letter To Mr President
Dear Mr. President,
How are you today? I trust you are well? Well why wouldn’t you be? You are eating ₦1 million a meal per day, so yes! I am sure you must be in excellent and robust health.
How is the Dame and the children, the baby-mama and aunty Didi (oops, sorry people didn’t know you two had some connection? Sorry it was a slip, it will happen a lot in this letter. Oh and let me apologise in advance, my mouth sharp oo)? I am sure the home front is good? Right! Let’s get down to some crucial matters. These are matters that concern our great beloved country.
Guy, YOU DRINK????
Why is Boko Haram terrorising the North? Bombs going off by the day and you haven’t done a thing about it? Instead, you are busy reading out your copy and paste speeches? Wetin na?? Speaking of speeches; let’s take a quick look at the last one; the one for Kano.
*. In which seven persons were confirmed dead and others wounded. Among the seven persons killed in the incident was a reporter with Channels Television in Kano, Mr. Enenche Akogwu. – 7 people?? In whush Kano?? Kano in Nigeria fa? And it was 7 people?? Issokay!!! Hell is Real ooo…
*. President Jonathan who said he was greatly saddened by the incident which led to the loss of lives of innocent Nigerians - Really?? It took you 24 bloody hours to respond o. Oh sorry, you were too sad, you need composure abi?
*. Pledged to get to the root of the incident while assuring the management and staff of Channels Television which lost its Kano-based correspondent and indeed all Nigerians; that those behind these acts of terrorism would be made to face the full wrath of the law. – *snores* Sorry I dozed off, I didn’t realize you where still talking. This law that has wrath, me I haven’t seen it? Biko please Uncle, bring it quick.
*. And assured all journalists that “the Federal Government will continue to partner with the media in a robust and patriotic manner in the drive to build, institute and sustain the administration’s transformational values and programmes for our dear country and indeed Nigerians . – should we name all the journalists that have been killed in this country? Let’s move on dear sir.
*. The President further commended the media for its historic role in protecting constitutional democracy and the rule of Law in Nigeria - shamelessly quoting RSVP. Uncle Reuben, I see you o.
*. As a responsible Government, we will not fold our hands and watch enemies of democracy, for that is what these mindless killers are, perpetrate unprecedented evil in our land. – Bwaaaaaahhhhhhaaaa..ya funny Mr. President. I wish you read this out, I would have loved to see your face. Lmao.
But guy you fall my hand dangerously o ahn aha!!
You didn’t even add any new words, same old story, same old speech I have heard all my life. Is there like a default book of speeches that your people just refer to and just pick words out when you have a 7 min speech?
Now I am a little confused? Can you help me out? I don’t get it. I mean c’mon even Mugabe is well into his 80’s and is still seen to have control over his country; and mind you, he is one of the most “Lambasted & Lampooned” presidents in the world!
Fuel Subsidy: Mr. President Do you actually know what fuel subsidy is? I mean really do you know? And not what aunty Didi, Big Mummy Ngozi and Uncle Lamido told you. You want us to trust you, yet you can’t even honour your own word. Oga mi, this thing nor good o. you tell me in each speech of how you feel my pain. Sorry but Mr. President with all due respect, you DO NOT FEEL MY PAIN! I am probably still one of the few people that belong to this “middle class” but yet, I feel the hardship; so stop telling me you feel my pain cos my dear sir you certainly don’t.
Mr. President you tell us to tighten our belt, biaa…whush belt you sef tight? I know how many cuts I am personally going to take in order to keep my own business afloat just because you have increased Fuel, I have even had to cut my weekend groove and drinks but I am sure you are currently passed out from a night of drinks as I write this. Abi na lie? Ideally, I should question you about the budget but I will let my other big brothers and sisters who use big English have their turn with you on that.
You are living in a Utopia world Mr. President Your worlds are quite far from our own realities, your nose seem permanently stuck in the air and the rest of them can’t get their faces away from your behind because its stuck kissing it. Uncle Jona, until you are ready to actually feel our pain, STOP SAYING IT! Have you visited these places up north that are been blown up? (Oh yes, you appeared in Kano on Sunday as part of you publicity stunt to show you “feel our pain”) or do you just rely on what your arse-kissers tell you? Guy rise from your drunken state and just do sonetin na.
Mr. President I felt very insulted when your ministers & co said that we youths that gathered are a paid crowd and we got paid ₦500 + pure water.
₦500?? A whole me!! Got paid ₦500? Are we so cheap abi we resemble paid crowd for una eye?
You blame twitter for your woes, Maku is worried that we insult you daily, Mr. President, may I remind you that you actually insult millions of Nigerians daily? Your friends at ‘Neighbour 2 Neighbour’ put advert for you saying you may not leave us good roads or power but you won’t leave us in debt . Hiaan!! Debt!! Uncle Jona nor bi insult bi this?? Err…is that why we are here?? Ahan han!!
Mr. President, I ask you to change your ways for the better, we don’t like this dictator style you are pulling; may I remind you 2011 was a bad year for dictators and the trend will carry on this year. I ask you to ‘Man Up’. You claim you are the nation’s C-in-C, well bloody act like it. Stop acting like you are a puppet, like you are being controlled or afraid. Stop attacking the innocent ones, deal with Boko Haram. Stop looking for people committing treachery just because we march the streets, guy e go shock you say we go enter streets again o.
Uncle Jona, you may see this letter as “an act of treason”, quite frankly, I don’t care. It is ok, come and pick me up. I am tired seeing suffering; I am tired of managing this country. This is a country and we the YOUTHS intend to get it back. We want a Country that WORKS. I expect to hear from you soon sir and we hope it is positive sir.
Mr. President, My name is Aninoritse Odeli-Serrano and I AM A NIGERIAN!!
Regards,
http://ynaija.com/an-open-letter-to-the-president-i-am-tired-of-managing-this-country/
P.s Happy 52 years of nothingness
How are you today? I trust you are well? Well why wouldn’t you be? You are eating ₦1 million a meal per day, so yes! I am sure you must be in excellent and robust health.
How is the Dame and the children, the baby-mama and aunty Didi (oops, sorry people didn’t know you two had some connection? Sorry it was a slip, it will happen a lot in this letter. Oh and let me apologise in advance, my mouth sharp oo)? I am sure the home front is good? Right! Let’s get down to some crucial matters. These are matters that concern our great beloved country.
Guy, YOU DRINK????
Why is Boko Haram terrorising the North? Bombs going off by the day and you haven’t done a thing about it? Instead, you are busy reading out your copy and paste speeches? Wetin na?? Speaking of speeches; let’s take a quick look at the last one; the one for Kano.
*. In which seven persons were confirmed dead and others wounded. Among the seven persons killed in the incident was a reporter with Channels Television in Kano, Mr. Enenche Akogwu. – 7 people?? In whush Kano?? Kano in Nigeria fa? And it was 7 people?? Issokay!!! Hell is Real ooo…
*. President Jonathan who said he was greatly saddened by the incident which led to the loss of lives of innocent Nigerians - Really?? It took you 24 bloody hours to respond o. Oh sorry, you were too sad, you need composure abi?
*. Pledged to get to the root of the incident while assuring the management and staff of Channels Television which lost its Kano-based correspondent and indeed all Nigerians; that those behind these acts of terrorism would be made to face the full wrath of the law. – *snores* Sorry I dozed off, I didn’t realize you where still talking. This law that has wrath, me I haven’t seen it? Biko please Uncle, bring it quick.
*. And assured all journalists that “the Federal Government will continue to partner with the media in a robust and patriotic manner in the drive to build, institute and sustain the administration’s transformational values and programmes for our dear country and indeed Nigerians . – should we name all the journalists that have been killed in this country? Let’s move on dear sir.
*. The President further commended the media for its historic role in protecting constitutional democracy and the rule of Law in Nigeria - shamelessly quoting RSVP. Uncle Reuben, I see you o.
*. As a responsible Government, we will not fold our hands and watch enemies of democracy, for that is what these mindless killers are, perpetrate unprecedented evil in our land. – Bwaaaaaahhhhhhaaaa..ya funny Mr. President. I wish you read this out, I would have loved to see your face. Lmao.
But guy you fall my hand dangerously o ahn aha!!
You didn’t even add any new words, same old story, same old speech I have heard all my life. Is there like a default book of speeches that your people just refer to and just pick words out when you have a 7 min speech?
Now I am a little confused? Can you help me out? I don’t get it. I mean c’mon even Mugabe is well into his 80’s and is still seen to have control over his country; and mind you, he is one of the most “Lambasted & Lampooned” presidents in the world!
Fuel Subsidy: Mr. President Do you actually know what fuel subsidy is? I mean really do you know? And not what aunty Didi, Big Mummy Ngozi and Uncle Lamido told you. You want us to trust you, yet you can’t even honour your own word. Oga mi, this thing nor good o. you tell me in each speech of how you feel my pain. Sorry but Mr. President with all due respect, you DO NOT FEEL MY PAIN! I am probably still one of the few people that belong to this “middle class” but yet, I feel the hardship; so stop telling me you feel my pain cos my dear sir you certainly don’t.
Mr. President you tell us to tighten our belt, biaa…whush belt you sef tight? I know how many cuts I am personally going to take in order to keep my own business afloat just because you have increased Fuel, I have even had to cut my weekend groove and drinks but I am sure you are currently passed out from a night of drinks as I write this. Abi na lie? Ideally, I should question you about the budget but I will let my other big brothers and sisters who use big English have their turn with you on that.
You are living in a Utopia world Mr. President Your worlds are quite far from our own realities, your nose seem permanently stuck in the air and the rest of them can’t get their faces away from your behind because its stuck kissing it. Uncle Jona, until you are ready to actually feel our pain, STOP SAYING IT! Have you visited these places up north that are been blown up? (Oh yes, you appeared in Kano on Sunday as part of you publicity stunt to show you “feel our pain”) or do you just rely on what your arse-kissers tell you? Guy rise from your drunken state and just do sonetin na.
Mr. President I felt very insulted when your ministers & co said that we youths that gathered are a paid crowd and we got paid ₦500 + pure water.
₦500?? A whole me!! Got paid ₦500? Are we so cheap abi we resemble paid crowd for una eye?
You blame twitter for your woes, Maku is worried that we insult you daily, Mr. President, may I remind you that you actually insult millions of Nigerians daily? Your friends at ‘Neighbour 2 Neighbour’ put advert for you saying you may not leave us good roads or power but you won’t leave us in debt . Hiaan!! Debt!! Uncle Jona nor bi insult bi this?? Err…is that why we are here?? Ahan han!!
Mr. President, I ask you to change your ways for the better, we don’t like this dictator style you are pulling; may I remind you 2011 was a bad year for dictators and the trend will carry on this year. I ask you to ‘Man Up’. You claim you are the nation’s C-in-C, well bloody act like it. Stop acting like you are a puppet, like you are being controlled or afraid. Stop attacking the innocent ones, deal with Boko Haram. Stop looking for people committing treachery just because we march the streets, guy e go shock you say we go enter streets again o.
Uncle Jona, you may see this letter as “an act of treason”, quite frankly, I don’t care. It is ok, come and pick me up. I am tired seeing suffering; I am tired of managing this country. This is a country and we the YOUTHS intend to get it back. We want a Country that WORKS. I expect to hear from you soon sir and we hope it is positive sir.
Mr. President, My name is Aninoritse Odeli-Serrano and I AM A NIGERIAN!!
Regards,
http://ynaija.com/an-open-letter-to-the-president-i-am-tired-of-managing-this-country/
P.s Happy 52 years of nothingness
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