Archive for March 2012
You Know You Are Nigerian IF:
You know you are Nigerian:
If your name is so long, or so hard to pronounce, that you either have some"Americanized" nickname, or you use your middle name (which is English).
If, you know what your name means.
If you know of anyone (including yourself) that has any of the following names: Ola, Sade, Bola, Tunji, Ngozi, Uche, Folake, Ifeoma, Tolu, Tunde, Obi, Chioma, Chituru, Chinyere, Adaobi, Nkemi, Nneka, Bunmi or Fatima
If, names like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Patience, Peace, Blessing, God's Will or Mercy sound pretty normal to you.
If, rice and stew just isn't the same without plantain (dodo) [it aint d same]
If, you would prefer Moin Moin, or Farina (fufu) with soup over McDonalds any day.
If, you have ever treated a cold or sorethroat with "Pe-pe Soup".. AND IT WORKED!!!!!!
If, you have ever gone to a Nigerian "get-together" and made a handful of money just for dancing. [evrytyme]
If, not properly greeting an elderly Nigerian person has ever gotten you in a load of trouble. [dis one happens evryday]
If, when you were little you got FLOGGED (spanked) by someone who of course is Nigerian, but is not your parent.. And your parents had their back, instead of yours! (shady huh?) [wonda y]
If, your parents own expensive ass lace (like 200-300 dollars for one outfit), and they act shady when you want money for clothes.
If, your parents have ever compared your life to theirs in ''those days''. (i.e. boarding school, no electricity, fetching water, Nigerian Civil War....etc)
If, when you parents curse you want so bad to laugh, but you don't wanna get slapped. [yeah]
If, you parents use the word bloody to conjugate words a lot (e.g. bloody fool, bloody nonsense, bloody coward, bloody idiot, bloody shit) [ma dad uses bloody fool alot]
If, your parents use phrases like "Ewhoa, Chineke, Che, Ah-Ah, Yepa! God forbid or by God's Grace". [tufiakwa too]
If, your parents have ever threatened to kill you, break your head, back, or neck, or to"show you pepper". [lotsa tymes]
If, any Nigerian kid that you know for a long ass time is your "cousin". Yeah, Right!
If, you have a relative that owns a "shop". Especially if it is a shop that caters mainly to foreigners.
If, all of your parents Nigerian friends are your "Uncles and Auntie's.. not Aunts but Aunties.
If, when you are around Nigerians your accent either comes outta nowhere, or becomes thicker.
If, you know more than anything that your tribe is the best tribe
If, you know for sure that the Super Eagles are by far the best soccer team in the world.
If, you have ever bought green chucks just to match a shirt that has the Nigerian flag on it..GREEN WHITE GREEN!
If, you know anyone with dark ass hands and a bright ass face. I wont tell if you wont!
If, you attend or have visited a predominantlyNigerian church.
And finally, YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ARE A TRUE TO THE HEART NAIJA KING OR QUEEN if you are a GOOD DANCER! Cause ya know Nigerians have rhythm like WHOA!
If your name is so long, or so hard to pronounce, that you either have some"Americanized" nickname, or you use your middle name (which is English).
If, you know what your name means.
If you know of anyone (including yourself) that has any of the following names: Ola, Sade, Bola, Tunji, Ngozi, Uche, Folake, Ifeoma, Tolu, Tunde, Obi, Chioma, Chituru, Chinyere, Adaobi, Nkemi, Nneka, Bunmi or Fatima
If, names like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Patience, Peace, Blessing, God's Will or Mercy sound pretty normal to you.
If, rice and stew just isn't the same without plantain (dodo) [it aint d same]
If, you would prefer Moin Moin, or Farina (fufu) with soup over McDonalds any day.
If, you have ever treated a cold or sorethroat with "Pe-pe Soup".. AND IT WORKED!!!!!!
If, you have ever gone to a Nigerian "get-together" and made a handful of money just for dancing. [evrytyme]
If, not properly greeting an elderly Nigerian person has ever gotten you in a load of trouble. [dis one happens evryday]
If, when you were little you got FLOGGED (spanked) by someone who of course is Nigerian, but is not your parent.. And your parents had their back, instead of yours! (shady huh?) [wonda y]
If, your parents own expensive ass lace (like 200-300 dollars for one outfit), and they act shady when you want money for clothes.
If, your parents have ever compared your life to theirs in ''those days''. (i.e. boarding school, no electricity, fetching water, Nigerian Civil War....etc)
If, when you parents curse you want so bad to laugh, but you don't wanna get slapped. [yeah]
If, you parents use the word bloody to conjugate words a lot (e.g. bloody fool, bloody nonsense, bloody coward, bloody idiot, bloody shit) [ma dad uses bloody fool alot]
If, your parents use phrases like "Ewhoa, Chineke, Che, Ah-Ah, Yepa! God forbid or by God's Grace". [tufiakwa too]
If, your parents have ever threatened to kill you, break your head, back, or neck, or to"show you pepper". [lotsa tymes]
If, any Nigerian kid that you know for a long ass time is your "cousin". Yeah, Right!
If, you have a relative that owns a "shop". Especially if it is a shop that caters mainly to foreigners.
If, all of your parents Nigerian friends are your "Uncles and Auntie's.. not Aunts but Aunties.
If, when you are around Nigerians your accent either comes outta nowhere, or becomes thicker.
If, you know more than anything that your tribe is the best tribe
If, you know for sure that the Super Eagles are by far the best soccer team in the world.
If, you have ever bought green chucks just to match a shirt that has the Nigerian flag on it..GREEN WHITE GREEN!
If, you know anyone with dark ass hands and a bright ass face. I wont tell if you wont!
If, you attend or have visited a predominantlyNigerian church.
And finally, YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ARE A TRUE TO THE HEART NAIJA KING OR QUEEN if you are a GOOD DANCER! Cause ya know Nigerians have rhythm like WHOA!
